I'm beginning to wonder if I have arrived at (or at least gone past the first signpost for) the wall/barrier/tangled mass of politics etc that previous churchwardens might have come across after in year in post here.
There is an element of frustration setting in with my colleague, who on closer inspection seems determined at all costs to 'be' in an important position and martyr herself to the burden of responsibility, rather than actively 'do' anything that might help the organisation in the longer term. We have all been praying most of 2007 for a new treasurer, and in November TN stepped forward, with a reference and experience of the position at at least two other churches. He's a little unknown, and I have personally only really spoken with him at any length since his appointment, but he's enthusiastic, experienced and not afraid to ask provocative questions.
But all of a sudden it is proving 'very difficult' to handover the books, and it is now starting to feel as if excuses are being made as to why this can't be done. We have had no budget talks yet, and I have seen no books, or figures or anything despite the Acting treasurer being squirreled away in the vestry two days a week. Doing what?
Last time I saw anything was September, when we had unravelled enough of the previous treasurers books to make some sense of it all and start a simple ledger.
I'm disappointed. This is only one example of several things that other members of the church have expressed. She's under a lot of pressure, and struggles with her husband's health and all sorts of other personal issues but don't we all. It's the not acting in the best interests of the church that is getting to me.
All offers of help are effectively and politely declined and it is all under control. But for two PCC meetings in a row now, we have 'not been able' to get any sensible financial report.

And today another example of how Mr Vicar can in his own way be equally 'unhelpful'. He's a good man, a wonderful vicar, and very very good at all things pastoral. Faultless, devoted, credible - and a skilled and knowledgeable theologian. It has been said before that he lacks any management skills, and that is becoming increasingly apparent. No one likes conflict of course, but it is a manager's job to challenge negativity and conflict and resolve issues etc - not run from them.
We have this week begun to print off the 'Begging Letter' that invites parishioners to Give in Grace to our course. I edited the letter at the weekend and we discussed its content, theme and style Monday. It's a delicate issue.
Today I went into the office to see how the re-write is going, a little concerned that I haven't seen anything.
The administrator indicates 2000 copies, all neatly folded and ready for distribution!!
It's not printed on headed paper - so there are no contact details for the church!
It does not include the paragraph we discussed setting out out reasons for the request - just states how much we need each week to run. Nothing about re-development, new projects, maintenance programmes etc
Worse perhaps it does not go out with a Gift Aid form, rather a sentence suggesting that if people want to Gift Aid their donation then they should 'contact the office'! Nnnoooo - that introduces a barrier - who is going to do that???

And it goes on with lots of other tiny little things that all of a sudden form a blurred picture. They have one another's confidence and meet regularly (apparently) outside of Standing Committee etc and everything runs along in the kind of shambolic way that it always has. Which we love,and which is a trademark of our church and its people. Myself included.

But but but - we are not moving forward, and I can now begin to understand why FIVE other people have been the 'other' warden in the last eight years alongside these two. I will be standing for the post again of course - it has taken a year to learn the ropes and see how this relationship works. But if we are talking about progress and seven year plans and vision etc, we need to challenge things, ask questions and move forward.
Hence the hesitation as far as the new treasurer is concerned I suspect.

So tonight I pray for patience. For barriers to be worn down and differences to be settled. And that I can understand things better, and work out a way to take up the challenges ahead of us most effectively.

There was something else. It will come to me.

No More Shall We Part Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds