1. Do you own a box of crayons?
Yes, and I used them this morning

2. Have you ever seen a dead body?
Strangely enough, just last week. I cycled past two police and a motorist bent over the body of an old man who'd been knocked over and was bleeding profusely from the head. It was the first time for me, but you just know...

3. Do you always wear a seatbelt?
Only when I'm in the car

4. When do you shower most often?
June

5. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever album has been stuck in my head that day

6. Do you own any diamonds?
No

7. What was the last thing you purchased?
Several pizzas

8. What makes you feel warm and safe?
My wife, my kids, my faith, my house, my cats, music, familiar places

9. How often do you remember your dreams?
How do you know when you have not remembered?

10. Did you go to public or private school?
Public

11. Will you donate your organs after you pass?
Pass what - Go? I'd like to think so

12. How do you vent your anger?
I don't get angry

13. What is your heritage?
White English. It is my destiny also

14. What kind of watch do you wear?
I dont wear a watch

15. Did you ever go to camp?
No. Why are all these stupid things American?

16. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
No idea - I'd need to read a few diaries. I know I went to see a gig on the 17th...

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
Yes

18. What is your ringtone?
Metal Beat

19. What kind of milk do you drink?
White

20. Are you touchy-feely?
yes, uncomfortably so for a lot of people

Well its certainly been a testing time. But as I write this, the very last of the signs are coming off the printer and the Victorian Summer Fayre tomorrow afternoon is now in better hands than mine. Yesterday night was the annual 'sorting of the stuff' ceremony, when all the bric a brac and donated toys, books etc get sorted into various corners ready to put out onto the stalls on Saturday.

Bouncy Castle lady phoned tonight and will deliver at eleven. Later than I would have liked as I wanted that in position first. She's also bringing the stocks and sponges, coconuts and shy. Candy floss man called earlier last night, before we put the bunting up, so he's good to go as well. Popcorn has arrived and is now being weighed and priced. I pick up the strawberries myself at midday tomorrow. The coal is weighed for the Guess the Wight competition, the Dolly's name has been decided. Splat the Rat is being painted now and Tin can Alley is washed and bagged up. Haven't heard anything about the Hoopla-la, but the two raffle ladies have lots of good prizes. The fruit hamper has been donated by the greengrocer at the triangle, and his neighbour the baker has once again kindly donated all the cakes. That makes a lot of food which is always good, especially now that I haven't learned Mr Vicar has added steak sandwiches to his excellent barbecue menu.
Plants, crafts, homemade cakes, books, toys, videos. Youth Sailing Trust, PCSOs, EcoStyle, Fairtrade. Leaflet stands with hundreds of free local leaflets (courtesy my office...), and at last some music. It proved very difficult to source fairground music without spending any cash, but I have managed to (legally) download ten or so hurdy-gurdy tunes that I can put on repeat. Assuming of course that someone who knows how to set the PA comes along in the morning.
Fancy Dress Parade is the big highlight, but I now have two other people to judge it with me, and book tokens as prizes donated by a bookstore on the high street. A little anxious about how this will work, but we have talked a lot about it over the past couple of weeks. Quite a big ask of ourselves really, but I'm fairly confident it will prove to be a good idea.

Interviewed for the echo on Tuesday night, but unfortunately too late for promotion of the fete. I look forward though to a promised double page spread in Monday's heritage pages. Not convinced about the photographs though...

Could really do with sleep, but its up to me to do the late night 'puffer' dose for Baggins. Serious asthma attack on Wednesday morning led to our first-ever trip to A & E, which is not bad for a family with five children. The oldest of whom was 12 today. Where does time go? Seems to me someone forgot to close some of those shimmering windows between the worlds and it all just rushes away.
She's been to the zoo with the school and pizza hut with the family for tea tonight. Books, jigsaws, jewellery and stationery sets. Hard to get things for someone with such humble needs.

The ambulance dash seems to be so long ago, and she has recovered in a flash now they have the dosage right. We have to keep up 'squirts' every three hours for the next couple of days, and then increase to six-hourly on Sunday night. She ares so little about what happened to her. the resilience of young children never ceases to inspire me. Everything just is the way it is, and there is no concern for it to be otherwise.

Our children remain our greatest teachers

Mx
Broken sleep is shattering when you are so unused to it.

Yesterday evening I was 'enrolled' for my second year as the youngest churchwarden in the Winchester diocese. The Archdeacon's visitation was much less inspiring this year and the chocie of prayers was awful. So bad, even one day after and I can't remember what they were.
The vicar's hip is playing him up again, and I have been troubled with a couple of days of trembles. A weird, uncontrollable shaking in my hands and an associated feeling of light-headedness, similar to having drunk too strong a coffee?
It has passed this evening, but returns more often than I am entirely comfortable with.

Caught a bus to Lyndhurst this morning to meet with Sir Tony of Climson and discuss our plans for the new edition of the New Forest map. All is good. We can fit more ads on and offer 5p per copy less to our retailers. Part of my campaign to make the work we do more profitable rather than getting more work for already tired and busy people. Took an hour lunch in the rain among the ponies before going into a meeting of the Tourism Association Steering Group to discuss marketing plans, subscription fees and the new Transition initiative launched in Brock this summer. 'from oil dependency to local diligence'. I entirely support this campaign - living locally is the key to a lot of the issues we face in today's society. Singularly more fundamental than recycling, organic and fair trade.

MAde it home for dinner at 5.30 and then went over to the school for the 'new parents' introduction to the school. LC starts in September. Scary thought. Left after the talk - not really needing a tour round the school or a chat with the teacher (she's been here for dinner twice!) so that I could be at the church for an interview with a reporter from the daily Echo who want to do a feature on our 140th. he didn't turn up (unless I got the date wrong???) so instead I joined in the gardening party and helped out raking up the grass clippings.
Signed off and locked up at nine to leave enough time for a pint with the vicar and an opportunity to catch up with three of the four people going on our African exchange to Busoga in three weeks time.

Feel so uplifted, inspired and encouraged by everyone around me at the moment.

Hoping now to 'listen again' to an interview that JF recorded for R2 yesterday. he's performing CO at Durahm Castle tonight - sadly its been moved indoors because of the rain.
Busy man, after Barcelona on the weekend with TCM and a second performance of The Qu*et Man in Genoa this coming Saturday

Nat*on 12 Electrofear

Poor old Scuff is suffering again.
Now in his sixteenth year - at least - and really feeling the discomfort of his arthritis this week. Came in Saturday morning and could hardly walk across the kitchen, so I had to carry him upstairs. To be honest, I felt pretty much as he looked!
Struggled all day to get anything together at all and ended up asleep for most of it.
Took cat to the vets and lost £45 on anti-inflammatory injections that have made no difference.. Went back in with him today, and spent another £80 on a blood test. I think this could be the beginning of the end - but how much do we spend before we call it a day...?

Conversation with the college today. I will almost certainly be taking the level 5 Diploma rather than the 7, which is more strategic management. I need to get a handle on the basics first, and then move up to the MBA next year.
Could be a lot of work though, and some serious re-organising of time might be needed.
Ideas for that will come.

1-12 Nacht Plank

Run through of the Bob Pearce show tonight in the church. Fantastic to see a whole five piece band rocking out on that stage. They mucked about with lighting and speaker positions and stuff, but got it absolutely right after an hour or so and played the second half of the set right through to just four of us.
Should be a good show. I'll be cracking on with the publicity as soon as the dreaded Summer Fete is over...

One of the girls I know (who has a kid in each of the same classes as two of mine) used to live in the exact same house as me in Oxford. Five years after I moved out.

Time is not linear. It moves like smoke.

Anxiety is a a funny thing. I think the truest definition of the term is that which refers to a situation of one's own creation.

For fifteen years I have considered, been anxious about and worried over wife meeting ex, although I feel there has always been as certain degree of inevitability about this. Yes, there is more than one 'ex' of course, and you could apply that term loosely to any one of half a dozen girlfriends/partners etc. BUt there is only the one 'ex' with whom I have been fortunate enough to have children.

By declining the opportunity to take Biscuit home for whatever reason, after her exams, back up to North Hampton, I suppose I opened the invitation for her mother to come her and collect. It didn't seem likely because there was the issue of the bed and the table? Suddenly, these two items no longer have to be at home. Funny that. Grrrrrr....

So her mum came down. And turned up at the house at 4.30 this evening. With Biscuit, hoping to borrow a cool box to take some frozen food home in. OK so she sat in the car at the end of the drive way, but she was Here, observing, seeing, being informed about and effectively becoming part of.

It passed with little more than a wave to each other, but I wonder how far the ripples will travel, and how I will find peace of mind to be comfortable with B for putting us through this. I trust there is a reason and it is for the greater good. Just not sure that I will ever feel ready to deal with it.
Tx said it was almost surreal. She shut the door and thought 'did that really just happen?'

Invisible, Invisible
Women, Women

Thanks be to God for not making me aware of this until it had passed.

There's gotta be something wrong when a grown man sits in his back room in the evening painting soldiers...

When I was make believin'
Before the flowers grew
There wasn't nothing I could do
Except make believe in you

When I was make believin
Seemed the world would never end
Why do they tell you that's a bad thing?

Baby Dee sings a couple of words and I throw up a song.
Inspirational.

There is definitely a pattern emerging. I seem to be habitually buying albums in threes.
And I've bought more, with money, this year than for the past 3 - 5 years.

Must have money to burn...!

And I've been ranting on a music forum about the joy of buying music in real life from shops. To that end, I have to wave a flag for HMV in Southampton which seems to have everything I want every time I go in. It's a little odd, because I don't have very conventional, chart-oriented taste.
Picked up both Anthony and the Johnson's albums today. Have the first "I am a Bird now" as a download, but a real bargain to pick up for £8. Alongside his earlier output too, the slightly more expensive and even more beautiful debut album that came out on Durtro. leading to the discovery of Baby dee.
How gorgeous. Safe inside the Day completes the set.
fabulous, if a bit silly. But that just adds to its charm.

A christmas Jig for a three-legged cat anyone

Media is going mad.
Lots of new press cuttings have come over from Australia. Subtle references in the text help to date most of them.

Fascinating. Crap, but fascinating.

I'm am outraged that ANdrew Muir, for instance, couldn't choose his own song, but very impressed that he made that point.
Who decides? Why? Isn't this supposed to be 'the biggest chance of his life...'

If I needed any further proof that British television is shit, this was it

Things are slipping back into focus.

Tho she's still desperately tired and bleeding far too much, the hospital have confirmed that the pre-cancerous cells have been successfully treated and removed. This is for the second time in ten years. Hurrah.
Just the pleasure of a smear test (at least) every six months for the next couple of years...

At least we should have a relatively easy task of it this weekend with both F and A away at a camp with the Guides. First time we've been without both of them, and the prospect of spending a weekend with only the three youngest is quite cool. Not sure that LC agrees. She missed F earlier tin the week while she was staying at Grandma's and has been quite difficult at night as a result. can't complain though as she's usually better than good. Bee a big week for F actually - Monday to Thursday in Npton with my folks, one night at home and now off camping in the Forest until Sunday afternoon. reasonable weather forecast, so I hope they have a good time. Archery, abseiling, rifle-shooting - oooh, the opportunities for children these days.

I have relieved my head of at least one issue and successfully said 'no' to BIscuit regarding her trip back home next week. She has this crazy idea of going back to her Mum's as soon as her exams finish next week, and then coming down for ONE DAY at the beginning of July to move into the new house. She is a rubbish student!!!
Why not just stay here and, well, just be a student? Idle about, go out with friends, chill etc etc - she's really missing the point big time.
I really can't see the point of taking a bed and a table home. If they need to be in the house or are wanted as new/spare furniture etc why is it my problem to get them there?

Anyway, I found it hard to say no, but its done now. She's OK with it and I feel better.

Feel better too for planning the next six months of work through the office. Its cray, but its not something I've ever done with any conviction before and now its really important.

Just posted a list up of JF;s 'secondary' output. his b-sides and extra tracks make a superb collection of songs! I know and love them all of course, but I don't know if we have ever considered them as a body before. OK they are a mix of styles etc, and there is an 18 year gap between IMW and The Dr*ve EP, but the set contains some (if not most??) of his best material.

the only UK date this year has just been announced, at Cargo in October. I'd love to go, but given this morning I suggested I might start the CMI course around that time as well I'm not sure if my head will be able to cope or whether or not she will even agree to it all.
My problem is that I seem to always have to be near bursting point. As soon as something gets sorted in my head or my time (like the lift for Biscuit or the constitution of the St Denys Friends group I have composed) then I feel a need to fill it with something else. The course is exactly what I need and want to do.

Why, why, why is Britain's Got Talent so fascinating?

The acts I love and the tackiness of the rehearsals was attractive. but the semi finals have been SO SO crap. Is the target audience really THAT stupid, so as not to see the best act is last and they are all being 'persuade' to vote for that.
I hate the whole idea of public phone-in voting because it makes the whole 'are they any good' question more or less redundant, and the judges a waste of time.
The very badness of it is irresistible - I think I am being enlightened as to exactly why I have given up on TV. This kind of thing proves it so perfectly.

Its' the whole scripted "we'll be gutted if we don't win. This means everything, and I'm so, so desperate. It's all I have ever wanted and not to get into the final will be the end of the world"

That's just transparent, and really quite scary.
Is that REALLY all there is. Come on guys,look around you

Must go, the last semi has just started...

For the first time this year I have experienced disappointment with the Eurovision Song Contest. Usually for me its one of the TV highlights of the year, and more or less the ONLY programme I specifically choose to watch.
Bu this year's show just didn't cut it.
The Green Room cameos were truly awful, the presenters really not together and the camerawork dizzy and eccentric. The songs themselves fell into three categories - the power ballads, the rock and the bizarre. My top five predictions were from the last two categories, and I did genuinely think that the UKs entry this year was one of the best.
Nothing that I predicted even made the top ten. Bosnia and/or Latvia I think were highest placed.

Even Wogan let himself down this year. he doesn't watch the scoring closely enough, and three times 'guessed' that the 8, 10 or 12 point awards would go to countries that had already had 1 - 7 points. That's just unprofessional and indicates to me his quite obvious lack of enthusiasm for the show.
Which I shared, to be fair.

Perhaps its time he moved over...?

Maybe I'm tired too. It has been another crazy week.
Still reeling from the show in Salisbury last night, which was an absolute revelation. I have always loved 'Big Science' and rate in in my Top Ten all time albums, but until Ris put me onto a performance of 'Only an Expert' a week or three ago I knew nothing of Laurie Anderson's work over the past 25 years.
So I was excited and intrigues - and really, really impressed. Its fantastic to have such a back catalogue to look out for from an artist who's always been there doing her thing and whom I have shamefully overlooked.
Just a one woman show, and my only criticism was that the music sounded a little flat at times, especially the string sections, which could have been made so much better with live musicians.
I think also some video or film projections would have helped.
BUt she is so confident, funny, clever and perceptive that her lyrics/poems and violin playing throughout were totally mesmerising.
As usual for me its about the whole night, and catching with Ris and Mr Ek*n is always a joy. A couple of beers before the show and a great meal in Strada afterwards, talking about all things F*xx and Vox. plans for the d*scography, the site in general, and all the crazy things that the man is up to for the rest f the year. There is enough stuff around to last us at least five years I think. Two re-masters a year and one or even two new albums is easily achievable. I do hope nothing gets rushed.

And I got home in a ridiculous 35 minutes. That's not even long enough to listen to Disc One of 'United States',although hearing 'Walk The Dog' again after all these years was really special.

Thursday night was supposed to be my early one to catch up after too many beers with IW on Wednesday, but instead Kink rang. Completely out of the blue, though I haven't heard anything for a month so its perhaps no surprise. This is because she has moved back home, and moved in a new boyfriend.
Its not my place to be, but perhaps it is my lot. Truly, truly, truly... disappointed.

United States Laur*e Anderson

It has fallen to me and Tx this year to organise the Summer Fete for the church. Not entirely sure how. I do recall a conversation after last year's when I described the event as poorly attended, which was a shame given everyone's hard work and commitment on the day. We needed better publicity,and I volunteered to help with that.
So two-and -two became five and now, though its rather late in the day for an event at the end of June, I am organising it. need a lot of help from more experienced hands, but at least we now have a lovely poster and a round of flyers to start going out at the end of the Month.
Intend to have a Victorian theme this year to celebrate our 140th, and we've been offered some costumes.
Some ideas that have come up for themed stalls (in addition to the usual round) include a Guess the weight of a bag of coal, coconut shy/aunt sally, welly throwing (!!!) quoits, human fruit machine, a 'palmist' (!!! - perhaps we could have a PSALMist??) and a childrens fancy dress.

Most of these I like, but I need to get some input from the rest of the Standing (up) Committee
This isn't something I need right now, but I suppose as far as holes in the head go, this is little more than a pinprick.

I can't remember exactly who pointed me in the direction of this rather clever piece of software, but I was reminded of it when I caught the last ten minutes or so of this week's Gadget Show. For many months now I have been struggling with various copies of Snapz, downloaded for 30-days at a time to different computers, faffing about with marquee tool in order to capture the videos etc up on youTube for the F*xx archive.
Last nights 'discovery' is a revelation.
Though Miro stores video in mp4 format and can therefore realistically only be read by itself, it is brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I have managed to record another 30 or so films of John and Lou*s doing their thing at various gigs, including two pieces from the recent Austral*an Tour.
Successful, by all accounts, despite playing to probably less than 500 people across the four shows. That' snot including the Melbourne performance of TCM at ACMI. Its brought a handful of new fans to the forum, and a sense of enthusiasm and excitement which will justify the re-release of The Graden this summer.
I've never been entirely convinced of the need for this, but there is something of a renaissance going on, so a return to the neo-romanticism of this project should, finally, put the bleak techno trash of Metamat*c back into the dust. I'm looking forward ot it now, and playing the album again just to work myself up a bit.

This is in stark contrast to the album which finally arrived today, though I bought it online over a month ago. My Favourite Kind of Irrelevance is a retrospective collections form the 10-year catalogue of Norris and Norken - IDM with an ambient glow. Great stuff.
And I particularly enjoyed Bjork's Medulla again last night. Its probably the only album of hers I can still enjoy. As I've said before, Bjork and Morrissey are unique in my experience. I look forward to each album, buy them all, and never fail to be spectacularly disappointed.

Inspired last night. Ghosts on water and all that. She came through.
A hint of laughter and a cool perfume
A laughing shadow in a long lost room
A sudden longing so bittersweet
It makes me turn around in crowded streets

Invisible (invisible)
Women (women)

At last we managed to get a walk in the New Forest Sunday afternoon.

Well, most of us. I admit to more than a handful of frustration when Biscuit phoned at one and invited herself over for the afternoon. Again. Serves me right fro strategically trying to avoid her texts last weekend, although we were at mum's. I do seriously wish now that she would get out of her room and really do the whole student thing, instead of complaining about things like a music festival in the grounds of the halls - which distracted her from revising and shouldn't be allowed the week before exams - or the Hawaiian party at the campus on Sunday night which they were charging to get into.

????

I'm at a loss. There is always "no" but I haven't quite worked out how to play that card yet...

So as it turned out, her coming round gave Tx a welcome opportunity to stay home and rest while Baggins had her afternoon sleep after all. Just meant that again we miss out on time together at the expense of... well, anyway.

Chose The Kings Hat this time, a couple of miles north of Beaulieu. I have had this crazy idea of talking to the Forestry Commission about a booklet or something describing all the 70-odd car parks in the Forest and the habitat/natural history etc you can find around each one.
This one is a very good all round starting point, which explains why it was busy.
Very hot today (23-25°??) which made me uncomfortable, but most of the kids seemed OK with it. Unfortunately, when I go to the Forest I prefer to be away from the holiday makers - its quite easy to do this most of the time as people tend to stay within about five seconds of their cars – so The Kings Hat wasn't great for this as it was packed (20+ cars)

But, on arrival we had a pony in the car park with a foal that looked only a few days old.
Took the main track southwards (which looks as if it is some kind of ancient road (it has some kind of brickwork set in it?) through beautiful oak and beech woodland, which is open and grazed (not enclosed) and within a few hundred metres came upon a well-made, quite modern bridge over the Beaulieu River.
It's very slow moving here, and only a couple of feet deep - and a little smelly in the heat) but exactly the right width across to be a challenge for a six year old boy with sticks and stones to throw. Commonest woodland birds and a couple of Willow Wobblers, but nothing of note due to numbers of people I presume.
Plenty of damselflies, mostly of two sorts which I presume to be small red and common blue. Made me realise that there are several species of damselfly and darter in the Forest that i can't identify. need to put that right - it is endlessly frustrating.
Not far past the bridge the path leaves the woodland and proceeds south across the open heathland. Too too hot,so we chose to follow the woodland edge to the west, the river to our right, keeping in the trees for shade. The river breaks up into lots of streams and channels around here, and after about fifteen minutes we came across one about a metre wide that ran right across our path. Crystal clear, only an inch or two deep and brimming with tadpoles!
Amazingly, we passed an hour here, catching them in our cupped hands and screaming at their squirmy wrigglingness. None were sacrificed, care was taken and they all had a great time. We dammed the stream with a few sticks and made a little bridge - dismantled immediately afterwards etc etc - all I'm sure very irresponsible but exactly the kind of thing that children should be allowed to do and doesn't really involve anything other than time, a bit of imagination and some freedom. They got muddy, soaked, and bitten by a million midges. Excellent.
Met other folks who joined in with us, and several dogs.
Walked off for ten minutes or so, and found The Bastard Chavs at the spot, filling 2-litre Coke bottles with tadpoles. Have you NO brains? Lids too. Incredible. Why do people have to drink lager in cans at three in the afternoon in the woods in a National Park.
I do hope he didn't get his lovely white trainers dirty.

First people we met though were great. Three girls, all keen to play and chat and chase around. Great horse poo chucking fight.
And we heard a cuckoo (TWO actually) which it gave me great pleasure to point out. Luckily, it gave them all great pleasure to hear as well.

Then, as I don't really do being prepared very well and had no drinks, hats or sun cream they all got a bit hot and tired all of a sudden.
So we zipped back in the car and headed to Beaulieu for ice creams and baby donkeys by the lake.
I'm not sure I have seen much that is cuter than these, and quite happy to be stroked, photographed and generally coo-ed over by the passing skwilllions. Hideously busy and I have no excuse for going there on a Sunday in spring. really should have learned better you'd think.

Good start, and a good rating for this car-park. The Kings Hat in early May.
Easy walk - ancient woodland, river, bridge, stream, birds, heathland, butterflies and damselflies, paths, dry, circular.
Popular, prone to midges. A good seven

Big day out for everyone on Friday when we went on the Go Ape 'adventure' at Moors Valley. Five challenges in the treetops, involving rope bridges, high wires, Tarzan swings etc - all around 50ft up in the tree tops.
First time I've ever experienced a 'team building' exercise and it went really well.

I was dead scared, and some of the bridges really required a serious leap of faith to complete. I enjoyed the zip slides of course, but absolutely hated every second of the rail bridges, swinging about etc.
Everyone was very supportive of one another (well, there was one noticeable exception who didn't seem to get perhaps quite the mutual encouragement that everyone else shared) and the whole thing was very well received and exhilarating fun.

With hindsight, I perhaps should have done the Tarzan swing into the rope wall, but I couldn't face it at the time and chose instead to complete the last challenge via the high wire. In the end, this proved even more scary and I froze in the middle. JC was great and very supportive.

We all shared a massive lunch afterwards, which I left them all finishing off when I had to leave for the 'swimming and gymming' that goes on every Friday.

A face is forming from the pixelated blur.
Sally Three has a son called Elijah. Now that's unusual. Cool, but unusual. And considerably better than the 'Piper' and 'Willow' I met today, or any one of those bizarre acronyms that people use that seem to be popular, usually beginning with the letter 'K'...

Why is that?

Wow. I think I have just discovered Laurie Anderson.
Again. I have the BIg Science album. Counts for nothing.

Only an Expert. Counts in thousands.

YouTube has some good bits

When you are chipping away at a rock from one side, its very easy to remain unaware of how thin it has become and how close you are to the other side.

It has only just dawned on me that our credit card debt (which is now only on two of the five cards) is now less than a month's salary. Four years ago, at the worst point, it was equivalent to about 9 months salary, and spread over five cards.
So we are really getting there, and its a good feeling. As my salary has now increased and the interest and debt has come down, its all got a lot easier. The money put aside each month for chipping away at the mountain quickly begins to go a whole lot further. Three of the cards weren't even active and have never been used - I just opened the accounts to get the 0% interest offer - which doesn't seem to be available any more??

Interesting watching the reaction of the card companies. Since I cleared my Abbey account last month, I have had THREE phone calls from them making loads of offers, and letters galore with all kinds of strings attached to fantastic deals as a favoured customer. There are clearly some 'balance thresholds' that trigger different letters.
Within £250 of your credit limit? Letter A. We are pleased to be able to offer you an increased credit limit...
Less than £500 on your card? Letter Z. Transfer other card balances to us. Use theses cheques. Take advantage of some stuff...
Nothing at all on your card? Zero balance? You're one of our best customers you are. We love you. Have a free pen...
I can't imagine how they would treat a really bad customer with any less respect

ALWAYS close the account. Don't just hide or cut up the card.
I understand that closing the account wipes out your credit history and defaults. Also means that you have the option to take out new customer deals in the future should you feel the urge. Don't do it

So I've closed the account. Which is also ridiculously hard to do, because you have to ring to find out who to write to...

Three down. One to go. We will be keeping one account just for fun and in case of emergencies...

Pay now - don't pay later.

Little Annie and Paul Wallfisch Bad Pianos

SInce the surgery on Thursday, things have been difficult. That's when I can get a handle on any kind of description. I'm not really sure that I've been entirely here or there since the weekend passed, and things have been dark and vague at home.
Six months ago she went for a routine smear test, which has to happen annually since some abnormal cells were detected about ten years ago. Invasive and uncomfortable enough. A biopsy at the time detected some cancerous cells.
The doctors then found that the 'abnormality' had re-appeared and wanted to do a colposcopy to investigate further. Thus they arranged for her to come back in six months time. Last Thursday.
It was during that investigation that they discovered the cells had spread and were looking particularly nasty enough to involve surgery. The diagnostic test was valuable and exposed an immediate need for surgery to remove a large part of the cervix with lasers and scalpels and all that malarky.
Ouch indeed.
Since then,she has been in so much pain and discomfort that she went back to the hospital today (bypassing the GP) only to discover an infection that has spread up inside.
Poor thing has been in tears almost every day since Monday night, can't sleep, is bleeding continually and has agonising stomach cramps.
She's totally exhausted.

I'm not great at being nurse, and she's not very forthcoming with complaints a s a patient, so its all got a bit awkward. Hence the long chat over several hours going into all the intimate details and exchanging how each of us feels about the other's response to the situation.
Helped talking to others too, especially Mum on Monday. Tx refused to stay home and rest, insisting that the kids all day on mu own is too much. She's a martyr to it sometimes, and that can be equally frustrating.
And of course I then find the lack of trust in me annoying, and feel that my offers of help are misguided!

Hey ho

Tonight's the first that I've not retired to bed at the same time, simply because I don't sleep anyway and its a nightmare for her with me fidgeting around.
So I stay up and get morose, or busy, or self pitying. Which is all wrong of course, but you can't help the way you feel sometimes. And I have so much to do with all the 'stuff'
But we feel much better for talking (as is always the way) and now we have cleared the air things are a lot more optimistic.

All my motivation for work has gone though, not least because of the tension in the office over the last couple of weeks. And now today there is more confusing and frustrating news. The p*rt authority have come out and explained that another, much bigger and national, agency has contacted them with an offer of significantly higher revenue that we can supply.
We can't compete with a national company offering £100K a year in commission!!! That's our targeted turnover for the project in this whole year.

Everything rides on someone else's decision, and of course that's not a great business strategy, which is why the rest of the company is so much more stable. And could be so much more viable.
It's a double edged sword that needs careful handling.

And I ever wanted to do was draw maps...

Can't keep going forward
If you don't know what's behind
Gotta learn learn your lesson from it
Gotta treat those mem'ries kind
Cos you never know when they'll get ya
If you don't give them respect
It's what you were before that's made you
What you are today
It's the mistakes that'll teach ya
That you're better off this way

Retro...
Future
Retro...
Future

:eek:

My heart's come home to me
That robin from a world away
Has come like first warm rain
My heart's come home to me...© Baby Dee

Saturday night's show takes my experience of live music to a whole new level.
The combination of venue, artists, nostalgia and affection is unprecedented in my experience. I have never before been to a gig where the place mattered so much to the show, and where everything involved gelled together so perfectly.

To mingle like a robin's song with night
And make night seem as good as day
My Heart's come home to me
That robin from a world away
Has come like first warm rain
My hearts come home to me

Wilton's Music Hall is neglected and is semi-derelict. At the current state of decline it will cease to be accessible in the next two to three years. It is London's most beautiful lost theatre, rightly describing itself as the city's 'hidden stage'. Entered through the paved lobby, off Grace's Alley just a few hundred yards from the Tower, Wilton's is an astonishing survival. A big, rectangular room with an apse at the back and a high stage. Single balcony on three sides with bombe carton pierre front, supported on unusual helical-twist (‘barley sugar’) cast-iron columns, whose bases are progressively overtaken by the rake of the floor. How have these survived 150 years?
Side walls with paired arched recesses above the balcony, the arches supported on alternating piers and ornamental brackets. Ellipti