Well, well

My short piece of dialogue entitled "Sally and Edgar' what i posted here on 11th April:

http://birdsong.blog.co.uk/2007/04/11/sally_and_edgar~2075022

has only gone and won the competition at the Writers Circle.
At least it would have, if I had been a paid up member.
They are very pedantic about their rules.
AGM this week and a meeting to chat about the fallout at Carol's on May 9th.

I willprobably have to join now.
Feels weird. I'm encouraged:D

I can see things beginning to get complicated in the Kingdom of Foxx, and need to rant a bit to help me get my thoughts and position sorted.
For the last three years or so I have been doing much painstaking research into the career of this Quiet Man and worked my way up from humble but dedicated to fan to seriously actually-though-I-can't-quite-believe-it knowledgeable archivist and holder of one of the most comprehensive collections of bootleg recordings, interviews and general stuff that there is.
Sounds weird,a nd hopefully not too arrogant, but that's the way of it.
A couple of years ago I think, I started conversations with and offering support and information to Ris, leading to the start of what is becoming a close and fulfilling friendship. His enthusiasm for the official site has waned for many reasons, and it feels good to have been able to re-kindle the passion and get so many things moving again.
But they are actually moving painfully slowly.
None of the copious snippets of info (gigs, setlists, support acts, reviews, interviews etc) that I have provided have yet managed to appear on the site, and this is becomng very frustrating.
Not necessarily to me from a personal point of view, but more generally because I really believe the site is the definitive resource for all things Foxx and so should be accurate, comprehensive, vibrant and up to date.
It is sadly true that I no longer believe it is any of these things, and as such is letting the fans down.

So inevitably, (though they do not know how much stuff is NOT on the site, only seeing it sitting dormant) they will vote with their feet. Hence, last year closed with the arrival of a site at myspace run by Malins the manager, and a fansite called 'quiet city' run by another fan.
It is this latter site that is now really taking off and carries a couple of exclusive interviews (with Louis and now Malins) as well as being attractive, appropriate and easy to use.
Metamatic the website was put together over ten years ago and is dated in terms of its design and navigation, not to mention content. It is unwieldy and hard work to update - another reason why so little of my data has been posted.
Not surprisingly some items of Breaking News have recently been given to QC rather than the 'official' site - which can only make matters worse.

What I want to see is ALL of us, webmasters, archivists, fans, and management working TOGETHER to produce something that accommodates the great strength of all these individual websites, rather than the fragmented path we seem to be following. It seems to me that the three others involved are all a little too precious about their own work and not necessarily thinking of collaboration.
But what to do?
How do I play this?
No-one really knows of my personal involvement with and relationship with Ris because I have remained 'out of it' on purpose, and the last thing I want to do is upset him, so I need to put my argument tactfully.
I phoned him tonight and his apathy was almost annoying.

This approach seems to becoming typical of the way I look at a lot of thngs lately.
I am really beginning to see the value of recognising the difference between the DOER and DONE.

Our church grounds are beginning to look a mess because the caretaker is quite ill and unable to maintain his high standard. But the job needs doing for the benefit of everyone involved and the wider community, so is it really in our best interests as an organisation to leave that work in the hands of one man?
I don't think so.
Ditto the Foxx websites.

One of my intentions as churchwarden is to introduce a series of plans fro different areas of church life that are the responsibility of different groups of people. Our church is five years into being a Cell based church, and I want to extend those values to the organisation as a whole.
Doing. Becoming. Creating.
The garden and grounds should have a team, the Building should have a team, the FSC meal should have a team etc etc, each with a specific and defined set of roles and responsibilities. Same goes for musicians, SALT planners, social action, events etc which are already in place. That way more people can get involved and given the opportunity to grow within the church and within their own faith. And at the same time, no one person becomes burdened with too much and unable to fulfill that role for whatever reason.

This can be summed up with the way our new website will work. A number of administrators will be identified each with an area they can access and update. Ther will be a Working party to oversee and develop the site.
And the site will be designed according to the Cell values.

Naive, perhaps, but its becomng a philosophy I find more and more attractive.

Coop-petition, I believe is the buzz word for this.

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms 1 Peter 4:10

It shouldn't be about personal agendas, relative levels of self-importance etc etc because ultimately, in both theses areas, we all exist to serve a common purpose and that's much easier done by working together.

What can you do when the busiest day of the year has been and gone.
Yesterday, after spending the morning cleaning and then smashing the hard disc on my old computer, I took Biscuit to University Of Reading. the best reason to study there would be Laura green from Sheffield as far as I can see.
A shabby campus, that doesn't look as if it has spent any money on itself for thirty years. Academically sound though, with depth of research and a cast iron reputataion. Crap marketing and dull amosphere. Apart fom Laura.
Hom ejust a few minutes before seven, but missed Trx and Flo. Tx to St Anne's for a New Parents evening, Flo to guides.
Overlapped with babysitter for no more than 15 minutes before heading over to church.
Duly elected churchwarden for the next year.
So many idea, so much inspiration.
first vestry meeting next Wednesday.Batcat brought in a squirrel yesterday morning. A SQUIRREL!! It was screaming and kicking when I first saw it, and thus released it from moggy's jaw. Whizzed around the house like a dervish. caught it, put it outside up the tree.
Turne dup in the middle of the lawn again this afternoon. Tx contacted RSPCA who duly came to collect about four o'clock. I hope it survives.
What will be next.
Stan made the sacrifice yesterday to allow everything else to fit. no swimming. So no Sally
Tomorrow (which I beieve is Friday??) is Biscuit's 18th. Love her to bits - we had a great day in Reading.
I have bought her a box set of five Tarantino films, the soundtrack to Kill Bill on CD and have arranged for a bouquet to be delivered when she gets in from college.
She has such gorgeous friends!!!

Beerrs with Mirfee this morning. Enlightening.
i have never before spoken of my addictive relationship with porn. very refreshing and enlightening. I feel another chunk of the cloud has passed and strength takes its place. Kind of weird to talk about it so naturally - suddenly there is a new perspective.

Feels good to be working on a 'homer' again, despite the lateness of hour and tiredness of eye.
The work form geologoica is very easy - just plotting volcanoes on various tiff bases, having come up with a spec to differentiate ;active' 'dormant' and 'extinct'.
I've been sent four of the ten so far, and completed two tonight.
But, it seems the other two are incomplete and so I've come to a stop. Already.

Hard to get inspired to start tonight after a good day out with the family.
We discovered bramridge Park this morning, up near Allbrook and went for a wander round the most inspiring garden centre, gardens, nature trail and miniature railway.
Delightfully quaint, the railway, with rusty gates and broken signs - so refreshing to find an attraction that isn't all corporate and shiny.

Currently listening to Interpol.
I have flicked through many albums, and all the stuff I got recently is just not right for now.
Mansun, NIN, The Fall etc.
I am reluctant to fall back to heart on Snow, but I suspect that is where I will end up.

This album is rathe non-descript and dated, to be honest…

But I went back to the Fall.
Code_Selfish is shamefully my only seriouos foray into Mark E. Smith's manic world.
Seems more accessible than some of their earlier albums and really quite interesting.

Every week for months I have sat in church and found one line from either a song or a talk that inspires me. I think it's probably a bit corny to print them out and ahve a kind of 'Thought for the Day' up on the wall, but maybe I will remember to add them here from my notebook.
If I remember to add them to my notebook in the first instance, of course.

At cell this evening, one of the things we studied was Psalm 130.

The lines I am drawn to may not always be from scripture, but this week's soundbite is:-

"in his word I put my hope" (Ps 130:5)

Peace be with you

Tonight I took the plunge and emailed Steve Malins. More than anything else perhaps, my business ethos puts a focus on people working together for mutual success. Competition and rivalry is rarely to anyone's advantage.

Tonight is MSN at long last. Just about the last of the teething troubles with the sexy new mac.
So good to have this thing here - and the sound quality is awesome.
Still listening to Baby Dee and I just found some wicked photos of Marc ALmond on Dee's blog just now.
really disappointed that I didn't get a ticket for the three nights at Winton Hall - his first and only UK gigs.

Gigs. Hmph. Foxx has announced the date for the "t-shirt gig" being 24th November at Luminaire's. Good venue - but it only holds 250!!!
Seems crazy to me that they have sold less than 150 of the obligatory T-shirts, but still won't sell advance tickets to anyone else!!! Such a cheap gimmick - I'm disappointed withthe whole thing.
BUT - it will be a unique event, at which the whole setlist will be songs chosen by us and performed for once in a lifetime... but still I REFUSE to buy a t-shirt.
Before that, I am trying to justify to myself the £115.00 price tag on his appearance at this year's Bestival on the IoW.
being so close of course I intend to walk from here to the boat and maybe even to the gig (about five miles) but no-one else is keen on that idea. And the last boat back is 10.30pm.
Will the metamatic show have finished by then and give e time to get back?

A job came in to me today that I will run from home. 10 maps of volcano sites for Geologica?
Nice £750 extra next month.

Today turned out to be a buzz in the office, but I didn't get much done. Bit concerned that I ended up over-ruling JC and supervising the assembly of the Room Folders - she hasn't really got a grip on this I fear.

Baggins awakes.
I must dash

And I forgot to mention but wanted to note that today the divvy cheque has cleared thru the bank and taken my account up to zero!!
I am so chuffed to think that when I get paid agin in a week or so, there will be an entry on a statement without a "DR" suffix for the first time in four years.
And four cards between them now total less than 5K.
Christmas 2004 it was over 11.

Amazing what an effect this has on the interest you pay each month.
And the lesson of paying early in the month makes an enormous difference to that as well, instead of waiting till the payment due day.

AND, I also forgot, that I received all my charges from the bank going back four years. They sent me data right back to 2001, so today I sent the second letter off claiming back something like £2,800!!
It's only the first stage and D has advised me to expect court fees over over £300, but that can be added to the claim and it will all be worth it.

Shame there are so many hoops, but what akes me mad is that they still make the fekking charges, even on those of us with a claim against them!

Baggins is crawling.
She hasn't gone through any commando style stuff, or bum-shuffling. Really only started to push herself backwards a couple of weeks ago and then over the weekend learned the art of turing round and round leaving her feet in the same place.
And just this evening she finally found out how to go forwards from being on her hands and knees rocking backwards and forwards.

Her mum taught her that…

Big growth spurt thing - the first tooth appeared at granddad's on Saturday - 7 and a half months.
And just like Alice - she has already decided that she won't eat baby food. Much prefers to be given things to hold and feed herself. You name it - she yams it.
breadsticks, weetabix, appples, peppers, raisins, sandwiches, cheese. Nice and messy.
Doesn't seem to like tomatoes much
LC too is growing this week - fell over twice again today trying to get used to her new feet.

They've all got to get used to the idea of being cousins.
"Uncle dave" finally became a daddy this morning!!!
baby boy, as yet un-named, born ten days overdue and weighing eight pounds. All stunned, but well.
i really feel for him having to fly back out to Bahrain on Sunday…

Babies everywhere it seems. The twins arrived last Monday and were out and about being lovingly paraded in the playground this morning. SO CUTE!!!:D And both well over five pounds - which is bigger than LC was. Carried to 37 weeks and delivered naturally.
No wonder AB is smiling so much. Fantastic news.

My diary is full to bursting over the next couple of weeks - aside from work.
Tomorrow night is cell. An oasis of calm in the bluster of it all. Then Friday its beers with MS and discuss the new photography we want him to do. Hopefully PM will join us and a couple of others to make a night of it.
Who knows what the weekend will hold?
Next week I've got to make dates with Invisible Women. Leo wants to meet up for lunch (which I suspect means she will be fishng for an invite to a Foxx gig) and I'm looking forward to that. Then I really must meet CQ from the JGI as I have promised twice this year already and failed miserably both times.
More than either of these, I have invited Sal to call me next time she is in town. Ths works out apparently once a month or so, when she is visiting Milletts to do and audit or count the mags in WHS. One of those things I just heard myself saying.
She's been creeping into my head over the past couple of weeks, moving up the consciousness from just being someone I chat to every week at Stan's swimming lesson.
You know that difficult half hour watching from the café, when there aren't quite enought tables for all the parents? She has magnetic hair and dangerous eyes. Taller than me. Perfect example of the 'long nose, long n*ps' theory I suspect.
But does she talk?? Blimey - once I'd broken the ice she set about it with a hammer!
Drifted through the corners of my week for ages, then I woke up one day and there she was. Now she's in the phonebook and getting asked out for coffee. Came about because she moaned so much about how much she struggles to carry all the boxes WHS expect her to deliver, and some of the really awkward bins for promotional items. It's literally across the "mall" from the office.
Offering to help came naturally, but now I'm nervous. Hey ho.

On top of this, Biscuit is coming down after college on Monday and staying a day or so until we go over to Reading for the University open day on Wednesday. Which just happens to coincide with the PCC AGM at which I get elected as churchwarden. There are no other nominations yet, anyway…

So if anyone has a few idle hours they could donate to help me get more time into the next week or so, I'd be very grateful

And here's my thoughts on the much-postponed "new" album from Throbbing Gristle "Part 2 - The Endless Not", recorded over two years ago.

Wow - this is the FOURTH album I've actually purchased this year…

I've read mixed reviews of this, and it really seems to have divided critics, which I guess is exactly what you would expect.

In my opinion, at the end of the 70s TG created some of the most disturbing and challenging music I have ever heard. DoA in particular seemed to exist with the sole purpose of upsetting people and dragging them off screaming into hopelessly dark and scary places. Never mind stepping outside the box - this was destruction of said box in the nastiest possible way. To shock and to jolt was very much the order of the day - the end result of course being some of the most original, clever and influential music of our generation.

Thirty years later, people have questioned whether this is still their intention when over that period the industrial genre has been there and done that time and over.

A tired bunch of androgynous old f*rts?

...
You wish…

Personally I find the clanking synths, improvised screams and noise and stomach-churning electronics that characterise the Endless Not strangely nostalgic and familiar in a horrible and uncomfortable way. P'Orridge's vocal is as grating, nauseous and impossible to digest as ever, and at times the effects are truly stomach-turning - but isn't that what you would expect??
I suppose it would be fair enough to say that this is not a hugely original album and TG are only doing here what TG do best.
But they do that far, far better than anyone, and clearly have plenty still to say. And there are hidden among the cacophonic some moments of sublime beauty, particualrly the last track After the Fall.

I think, after a handful of listens, that there is more going on here every time I play it here and my head is totally f*cked. I don't pretend to understand any of it - and its an irresistible feeling!!
If you have an addictive personality, be scared… this is defiant, deviant and dangerous stuff.

I didn't feel I had any choice but to receive this music through my ears. The word 'listen' is too pro-active and suggests you can stop whenever you like. That would be far too easy.

The line between genius and madness just got even thinner.
Tread carefully my friends - there is no net.

Just a thought that I might try to spend more time here rambling about running the business.
So yes, in response to those who wonder why, it is all very introspective and ego-stroking.
Who said what a blog has to be about.
Mine's about me.

Almost impulsively, but in response to our production meeting on Monday, I went out with JC and IW yesterday and bought two desks and a chair for the office.
This was after a long conversation with Mel discussing how best to lay out the place to accommodate more bodies. It's difficult with the Room Folders in production at the moment crammed into our 'reception', but I now have a long term plan that will allow us to have up to 8 permanent workstations in the office.
It's a nice problem to have though, seeing as 18months ago we were just two.!
Tomorrow in fact will be the first day that we have had seven people in simultaneously, so with the current layout it will be quite a challenge. Mel pointed out that in her experience (three London-based Media Buying Agencies in the last ten years, which is considerably more experience than me!) we have an overwhelming amount of space and she has never worked in a place so generous to its staff in that respect. Which pleased me. I can't be doing with all the hot-desking and clean desk policies she talked about.
My idea is to give everyone their own space, to work in as they see fit and not have to share that environment with anyone else if at all possible. But I can see this might not work with our resources and dependence on part-time staff...
She pointed out that her desk is a complete f*cking mess, which is true, but it reflects my own. D is the very opposite and clears everything away and lines up his pens before going home. I could be off for a week and it looks like I've just popped to the toilet. Mel is the same, and said that she's not used to having the space to do that. I think that's cool, because it means she is able to be relaxed and work naturally.
We seem to have really got over our initial confrontation, and now respect our differences.

Of course it was a waste of resources having 3 of us to go and buy some furniture, but IW was van-driving and leaflet dropping for us so we had the transport, and JC was dropped off at the storage unit to collect things for her leaflet run in Hamble Valley today.

Tomorrow will be a challenge. Tension is mounting with MAx's period of work experience due to end next Thursday. He has been remarkably inefficient and slow putting the Room Folders together and seems to disappear for long periods far too often. Apparently this happened last week too when he and IW worked with D to install the frames at the City Terminal.
What to do, what to do?? he responses to the reminder and a few pokes, but is want to drift off again all too soon.
So today IW has been recruited to gee him up a bit and get things going so that the first couple of hundred can be assembled and sent out on Friday. They are very cramped, but with IW around the atmosphere is vibrant and buzzy so much more things get done. Meanwhile D and Mel will be battling on trying to land the first 'national' advertising campaign for the CruiseMedia project. I do wish he would concentrate a little more on the HV Room Folder and the PageOne Events poster sales campaigns, but that is really what we need New Person to do in the summer. There simply isn't time in his day for that now, and getting someone on board for CM is vital. It's some comfort though to see the local campaigns gathering momentum and commitment now up to 30K since Macdonald and Devere hotel groups got on board. That means that costs are met, even before we get a major brand involved!! Hard work, but a really good effort.
We just have to believe in ourselves a little more. Things look so good at the terminals - it's just really a case of waiting until an advertising campaign timescale comes along for which our media is appropraite.
That's four. JC will be in as usual, and me trying to get throough the plethora of emails and files being sent this week relating to the New Forest Cycing map.
Seems the first time anyone has tried to put one together that incorporates ALL the approved routes in the Forest, not just those managed by the Forestry Commission. Another good example of us trying to get different agencies working co-operatively. Not bad so far, but there will be sparks to fly when NFDC stake their claim for New Forest branding despite insisting that it is our commercial project and landing us with all the risk. The NFDC at the FC seem to find working together quite hard, and certain people within these organisations definitley have personal agendas. Such a contrast to the easy going approachable nature of HCC and the National parks authority, for example. And Sustrans are happy to oblige with just about anything.
I also have to quote for the new timetable maps for First Group and finalise the amends on the maps for the Forest VIPs.
Finally, Michelle comes in for her regular four hours on a Thursday, chasing the increasing number of late-payers. She's VERY good, and there is clearly a correlation between her calls and cheques mysteriously turning up.
Winchester Cathedral today announced their intention to join HAG which is a snowball just gathering momentum. Never before have these individual 'attractions' worked togtehr on media and advertising campaigns and they all think it is so effective. So we need to discuss a management fee and work out precisely our role within the association.

Not to mention buying watercoolers, coatstands and Office fruit bowls. Just an idea I thought I'd run with. On a three month trial - a bowl of fruit in the office fresh at least weekly for everyone to dip into. We eat FAR too many doughnuts and fudge at the moment…

Cycled out to night to the White Swan, some three miles north of home but accessible by the riverside path all the way.
Fantastic array of bats en route, reminding me of last nght' s experienc.

It was gone this morning, the pipistrelle - and with it no doubt a once in a life time experience.

Turn cold for a while, but coming home at 12.40 it was a beautiful night, so quiet and so dark.
the river like glass. Probably 5-10m wide at the pub, but following it downstream for fiv emiles to the Horseshoe Broidge it becomes 250m.
A sweeping curve to the railway line and the Empress sidings, then of south throught the city centre.
Went past home in a daze, and followed it to the bridge,
Sat for an hour, just watching the stillness.
Perect reflection - glass on glass.
Took a detour through the industrial estate and noticed, with some disappointment, no girls working tonight.
Unless they're all busy of course

Picked up "The Endless Not" this afternoon.
that's the third album I've purchased at ful price already this year!
Indeed things must be looking up.

My account has today passed 'above the below' for the first time in four years.
Feels good

My cat has caught a bat
How cool is that?

Seriously. A pipistrelle. I rescued it from moggie's evil grasp an hour or three ago and wondered what on earth it was to begin with. Seriously tiny, and so light and soft.
I think its probably been at least 25 years since I actually held a bat - and that was Long-eared, at a roost near Pitsford in Northampton.
We don't think the poor thing is dead quite, so its in a shoebox in the outside loo! I figured that would be warm enough, and the holes in the door will be big enough for him to squeeze thru and escape the cats overnight.
The shed would be warmer, but they often shelter in there.

Part of me hopes it dies peacefully from stress - it was in perfect condition - and so I can show it to the children in the morning.
They will be SO excited

SCENE:
A London (Belgravia) townhouse c1930. Opposite a park.
An empty room, one ragged curtain blowing gently in a broken window.
CAST:
He is not Edgar.
She is not Sally.

DIRECTION:
Present as a voice-over.
A conversation heard some years ago. The walls recall it.

He: Y’know, sometimes I wonder about you
She: How come?
He: Well, y’know, all this…
She: All this what?
He: This nothing
She: Nothing?
He: Yeah, nothing-ness
She: Nothingness?
He: You forget it’s been eight years. It’s difficult to just kind of, well, pick things up
She: I missed you
He: Yeah. Yes, you said. But it’s not as simple as that, is it?
She: For me it is. I’ve been around though, it’s not as if I like, (laughs) “disappeared” or anything!
He: Maybe not. I’ve seen you –
She: What? You’ve seen me?
He: Sure I’ve seen you
She: Where?
He: All around. Y’know, just at the edges. Drifting in and out. You’ve been spending quite a bit of time in that hotel down Broad Street, I believe?And I saw your reflection once, in a window as I passed.
She: OK. Maybe. (a pause) Do you think maybe I should change my hair?
He: Perhaps
She: But that was years ago. The hotel, I mean. I haven’t been there since Edgar died.
He: Edgar?
She: (a gentle laugh) You have a poor memory.
He: Apparently so. But you remember the hotel?
She: I remember everything perfectly.
He: Yes. OK. Sorry. I was forgetting
She: (a louder laugh) You remember what you choose to. It is your way. One of those things I always know you by.
He: I remember Edgar very well. I just wondered why you had to bring his name up again.
She: You mentioned the hotel. It’s worse than ever now.
He: Worse? I should think in all that time it can only have become more beautiful. Edgar was a fool to sell it. A place like that in time will be worth millions. It holds so many sounds. Ever since I made that recording from the cellar he kept on about the water, and the faces…
She: Yes. The faces disturbed him a great deal more than you imagine.
He: (a pause) You should try curling it again, and cutting it a little shorter.
She: How is Sally?
He: She’s very well. A little taller than I am used to, but…
She: It’s odd, don’t you think. You and I, I mean. You and I still here. Still looking out of this same window and down on the same people in the same park.
He: You mean after all that’s happened?
She: If you saw me, why didn’t you touch me?
He: If you were there all the time, why didn’t you call?
She: I called. I kept calling. Calling, calling
He: You never left a message. You know I’m never here, unless the wind is right
She: I didn’t come here! I wouldn’t. You… well, might be working
He: (abruptly) My collection is finished. I have no work now. But where did you call?
She: I called aloud. Through crowds, in parties. I called your name
He: I see
She: You always used to love the sound of my voice.
He: Yes. I still do.
She: You have the recordings?
He: Oh yes, of course. I’ve kept them all. The only part of you that has changed. You speak so differently now.
She: Shorter? Do you think so? I rather fancy that’s unfashionable now. Would it suit me do you think?
He: She’s just over there. Moving towards the statue

DIRECTION:
Through the window, looking out into the park.
The sun is shining, but there is no-one in the park at all, just a flurry of leaves blowing across the lawn.

****

My first ever 'attempt' at a play. At least, a dialogue.
Who are they?
The scene introduces four characters, and I'm not yet clear of the relationships between them.
I suspect the speakers used to be partners.
Sally is probably his mother, but Edgar remains a mystery.
In my head so far, he is the man she married instead of the man in the room with her.
His best friend, a university colleague?
One of the Bright Young Things anyway. But he is much lder than the other characters.

So is there a relationship between Sally and Edgar?

And do they exist in the same period in time.
I like to think they do not.
As in most of my narrative work, the reader needs to grasp the concept that time is not linear.
It moves instead like smoke. Drifting, weaving. Shaped by the current and the wind.
Moving at different speeds for people in the same room

Well, not just the BBC. I only watched that today.
The nice lady came on and told us how "fantastci" the weather had been today.

"And the Good news is that there is plenty more to come of the next few days.
Most of Southern and central England can expect to bask in glorious sunshine this week. A great opportunity to head for the beach and enjoy unseasonally warm teperatures of more than 20°…"

Then immediately a news story follows about huge moorland fires in Yorkshre due to the 'tinderbox' landscape.

How on earth are 'we' going to get the messages about climate chnage, carbon footprints and global warning if the weathermen always describe things in such crazy, overblown ways. As long as people believe this sunshine, dryness and bright weather to be a Good Thing, then why should they do anything about it?
Not balming people, its only natural, but that is the mentality we are up against.
It's that double-standard thing again that really 'grips my shit', as it were!

Sensationalise glorious hot sunshine in April and promote lifestyle changes to reduce carbon emissions?
Encourage young people to wear provocative clothing and condemn those who find them attractive to a life of eternal damnation?
Turn hostages into media heroes and condemn them for selling stories?
Generate a social climate of self-evasion and expect teenagers not to stab one another to death in the streets?

Advertise SPAM FILTERS and EFFECTIVE EMAIL MARKETING on the same page!!! grrrr

I'm shutting up now. Getting bored listening to myself.

Mum and Dad brought Flo home today.
I think she had a good time with them, but she says so little about these things.
Excited to be back though, and even seemed to spend more time with A than is normal. Good to see them (at least for a while) just talking together and playing in the garden.
It’s LC that has been the most difficult of late – a real powerhouse of unpredictable emotions for the last couple of days. Mind you, given that A and S have also been rather challenging this afternoon and simply will NOT settle to anything either inside or out, I think the diagnosis is a simple, but acute and all too familiar case of TooMuchChocolate.
Children in particular don’t handle it at all well and the difference in behaviour that results is readily apparent.
Short attention span, impatience, restlessness, tiredness and irritability.
Perhaps Easter’s notso hot after all
Thankfully they have only had two eggs each.

Good to spend more time with mum and dad again. Both seemed relaxed and had enjoyed Flo’s company. Bit of a surprise to learn of their longer term plans to relocate the static caravan to the New forest area from its current, 40+ year home in Norfolk.
They are tiring of the East Coast I think, but more especially the journey over there. Certainly we have not been able to go since they moved from North Walsham to Yarmouth which is a drive for us in excess of four hours. Simply too far, for the type of holiday I am not sure Tx is desperately keen on anyway.
I am a little frustrated that they still charge so little for anyone to rent the van for a week and seem determined to pay for their own holidays. Maybe it sounds a little mercenary to me and I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t feel the cost of the van so acutely.
If it’s difficult to pay the site rents, then surely it makes commercial sense to put the rates up. Even something like £100 a week would be a very cheap holiday, but bring in more than enough money over a 32 week season to cove the costs.
I think this is something we will discuss in years to come. Angie and I could perhaps consider investing in a share of the van so as to give ourselves a free couple of trips a year and secure a long term asset for our children in their turn. At their time of life, Mum and dad do not need an albatross around their necks, and we certainly don’t want to inherit one.
I can understand and fully respect the decision to maintain a presence in Norfolk at all as a commitment to Nan and granddad who put the first one in before I was born, at Pinewoods outside Cromer. My sister and I, and all my cousins practically grew up there and we holidayed nowhere else for over 20 years.
I cut my teeth as a birder in the van there and the first one Mum and Dad put in Wells hosted the twitching set countless times. But Granddad a business head too, so he would get where I am coming from.
I wouldn’t want to run it as a business to make a profit, but simply charge enough to hirers to cover the cost of rent, maintenance, insurance, stocks and supplies and travel costs for the owners.

Can’t remember much else that we talked about this time round.
Must have been ordinary. Very good thing.
Dad helped me put up a couple of lower supports for the new apple tree which I had mis-judged, and the outside loo doesn’t leak as much any more. Result.
Superb cake too – thanks Mum!

Tonight my new drinking partner Mark has been over with a memory stick containing six albums that we discussed last week. Well, albums by seven artists anyway. And none of which I have before. Only two I have even heard, so well played that man.
Hopefully over the next few weeks I will be able to comment on:
Code:Selfish – The Fall
(always thereabouts but to date I own nothing of theirs and have heard only a handful of songs)
Mark Hollis – Mark Hollis
(first solo album from Talk Talk frontman. Never liked their stuff. Dubious)
Pulp – This is Hardcore
(I have two other albums, both excellent. Don’t know this one)
Rain tree Crow – Rain tree Crow
(Sylvian, Bill nelson and co. Always seemed a little pretentious and ‘worldly’. Dubious)
Siouxsie and the Banshees – Hyaena
(I have this on an overplayed tape. Very welcome. Brilliant album)
Tom Waits – real Gone
(from 2004. I know far too little of his more recent work)

Yesterday, Kink delivered albums by
The Cure
The Radio dept
Bauhaus
Interpol
Six by Seven
Kings of Leon
Nine Inch Nails – And all that could have been
Iggy Pop – Nude and Rude
Jamiroquai – A Funk Odyssey
Led Zeppelin
Velvet revolver
Jah Wobble
Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral
Foo Fighters
Robin Guthrie
Ozric tentacles
White Stripes
Pulp – We Love Life
Robert Plant
Audio Slave
Black rebel Motorcycle Club
Fields of the Nephilim – Elizium
Clan of Xymox
My Vitriol
Gorillaz
Kaiser Chiefs - Employment
Lupine howl – The Bar at the End of the World
Thunderball original soundtrack
Slipknot – Volume 3The Bravery
The Killers
The Libertines

I could be quite busy!!!

Today I played the Kaiser Chiefs album three times.
Its catchy and immediately impressive, although the singles lack any real depth.
Aside from the cleverly crafted poptastic “Every Day I Love You Less and Less’ and “I predict a riot” which sound like everyone else the album has psychedelic influences that I like, and some very good lyric writing. Their identity comes out on other songs, and though I got bored on the third play, this is definitely one of the better bands around at the moment.

Sitting here now reading through some emails and debating whether or not I can really afford to get involved with Something Else. Four times this year (and again this Weds) I have attended evening meetings of the Southampton Writers Circle out of loyalty to a friend, but also because I share her passion for writing and could really do with a forum in which to share notes, ideas and constructive comments. This SWC though is crap, and doesn’t address any of thsee points. Is a tiny group of elderly people who have been doing it for years and years, one of whom I think was once published between the wars or something. They all submit articles and short stories to magazines like the Peoplpe’s Friend, for goodness sake.
They are currently being shaken to the core by comments from some of the younger committee members who can see the group going down the toilet. Every meeting there are new faces coming along who never come back again because its so dire, and they want to stop that. My friend has kindly (??) copied me into some heated email exchanges and I desperately feel and share her frustration. She and a colleague have now hinted that I join them setting up(or taking over!) the group so we can alter the dynamic and make it grow and breathe new life into a dead horse.
Can I be bothered?
What an outrageous question.
Of course I can, but is it really something worthy of the time it will require??

Tx despairs of me, and sometimes its easy to see why.

That's how beautifully our vicar summed up the Easter story today.
It really moved me, and I found indeed the whole service more upifting than any for a long time.
Whether its because he led and directed all himself, or whether the music was good, or being in the Old Building or what - maybe having just under a hundred people in helped.
Everything worked beautiful and I felt refreshed and nourished at the end.
Ready for new beginnings maybe.
There was the emptiness of the cross on Calvary
The emptiness of the tomb
The emptiness of the grave clothes.

Compare that to the promises filled with emptiness of, for example, TV advertising...

Felt moved to long and silent prayer after the service, so intense in fact that I was approached by the man himself checkign on my well-being. It's a great place for that.

Successfully prepared me for The Visit this afternoon, from Kink and Dan, who duly came along about 2pm.
Plans have altered though over the weekend,a nd we suddenly found out last night that they are camping this weekend in Ashurst on the edge of the Forest. Going well too, and enjoying it immensely - but at £25.00 a NIGHT its ridiculously priced!!!
We were all nervous i think, but of course the situation was ahnded to Him and passed smoothly and effectively as it was always going to.
Dan is easy to get on with and more open to conversation than I remember from the gig, when I suspect he was stressed and distracted. I was able to relax in his company, and I think S especially got on very well with him. Sought me out for conversation while I was cooking, helped A fold up a scooter - all int he name of making the right impression, so he has definitley passed.
Must say I was VERY tempted to go off with them tonight for a few beers int he Forest, but instead we sent them into the starry wilderness with a couple of extra blankets, and groundsheet and a bottle of wine.

Woah, I feel almost like someone's Dad!!

And I knew I had some Cds missing. She's just turned up with about 20 albums that have been borrowed over the last couple of years
And as I write this I am listening too and reminded of the glory that is:
Amon Duul
Clan of Xymox and the superb
'Blue Sunshine' by The Glove.

We've played down the chocolate this year, and Mum and Dad seemed quite happy not to buy eggs for the children. they have had a dozen or so mini-eggs each whcih we hid round the house last night, a creme egg from church (??!!) and one Easter Egg each from us which lie in ruins on the kitchen table. Kink has bought them another one each, and tbh they seem delighted with that.
It is good (and he's the closing link!) to fulfill a promise and see them so eagerly looking forward to getting an egg. So much more satisfying than Christmas, but I haven't really had these feeling s in quite this way before.
Maturing as a Christian more perhaps than I thought.
perhaps that too is a link with teh theme of today's talk in church.

Christmas seems to promise so much but actually delivers little.
The more you are given, the less you appreciate.
Gifts sometimes, while well-meant of course, are all too often given out of obligation at Christmas by people who can ill afford to be under that pressure.
And then not valued by the receivers, which is annoying and frustrating.
Less is definitely more.

Easter is quintessentially the opposite.
This year, we have asked for birthdays to carry the 'Big present' allowing each of us to get attention and receive something we want on our own special days. I'd like to strip Christmas further back to its heart and then get to the real value of it - giving time for people, family and friends, and taking trouble to give thoughtfula nd meaningful gifts to those we love.

Rant over.

He is risen indeed.

Alleluia!!

there are times when my mind is an explosion of feelings
And I just wanna scream at the sky…"

For the past couple of nights I've been taking the initiative and oganising a beer evening in the South western Arms tonight. Up until about six this evening there were no less than seven takers.
It's unusual for me, this 'group' evening - I tend to prefer one-to-one session. Maybe that's why most of the boys cried off for one reason or another and I was left with the dilemma.
The one guy who rang this evening and said "yes. excellent. just knock on my door as you pass" was probably the one I know least, so I wasn't sure whether to make an excuse and cancel or not.
Of course I didn't because that isn't what i do - and so lad. Mark and I had a really cool evening, exchanging stories of (mainly) music and ex-partners/older children.
He has worked the soil in direct antithesis to myself, having four kids from a previous marriage, and one new son. Which is how we know him - Tx and his wife G are good mates. Their son Arthur is in between LC and Baggins.
So we swapped a few storries about that, and then it turns out that he too has a musical taste as eclectic as mine.
He's a big fan of Tom Waits (hurrah!!), but has recently got into ambientelectronica and suggests I listen to a band called "Aim"? Ok…

At the same time, the last couple of nights, plans for this weekend have laid heavy on my miind. Kink had arranged to come down for the weekend with Dan her boyfriend, stayin gideally from Saturday to Monday.
with Mum and Dad comng Monday we can't let this happen, and besides none of us have ever met Dan before and it seems a massive deal for him, staying over with us for three days.
So I have had to call her tonight and say we are not comfortable with the plan. Bless her, she seems OK with it, but it was one of the most difficult calls I've ever had to make and stressed me out.

Didn't seem to affect the day otherwise, and we've all been up to see Winchester City Mill this afternoon and spent a a few hours wandering around the cathedral and shops

They have otters back there now. So good to know - up to 8 pairs breed on the Itchen somewhere now

Seems a place we should visit more often. The kids enjoyed themselves and it was a wonderful day out.

I've been praying a lot about how to handle the call the Kink, and Thank God for the strength to deal with it. I would rather they didn't come at all, but if it ends up being for just a day on Sunday that is very good.
Just pray to Father that he is prepared to cope with us. We are rather a Big deal these days…