Cam ein here this evening really just to read few blogs, not having any clue what to post myself.
You know how you get days like that? Nothing seems to quite give the required level of inspiration.

Carved three pumpkins with the kids after school which is about as far as we go with the Hallowe'en thing. I don't have a problem with the marking of All Hallows Eve and all that (though I can understand some more evangelical Christians than I have issues) but as with everything else these days I think it has just become a farce and an excuse for commercialism and parties.
Why do people need excuses for a party? If you want a party, just have a party?
There is just so much mundanity to escape from these days I suppose.
People in general seem to have such empty lives. I really can't understand it.

What exactly is Hallowe'en a celebration of?
Tomorrow is Alll Saints Day. So is tonight the last night that the ghosts and spirits and evil nasties can 'safely' wander the earth? And we light pungkins sic to keep them away?
But now the lighted pumpkin is a symbol that we re "in" and its OK to come trick or treating?
Provided you make an effort to actually dress up and are under about 10 years of age. No cheap 50p masks one between three hooded oiks.
But then we had three ?teen year old girls at the door, one in a ridiculous black cats suit and one in red horns.

Chavs, right? They are a total f*king blight on society, but some of them look bloody marvellous

Had the most incredible walk in the Forest this afternoon in a mixed woodland west of Beaulieu.
Absolutely alive with fungi and stirred an old passion in me which I now intend to indulge once I get a new digital camera. Saw Fly Agaric (the red and white spotty one that pixies live under) nearly a foot tall, and it seemed to be the weekend that everything was in bloom. Loads of these - easy to tell the kids not to touch, being so obvious - and I reckon probably at least another 20 species without really trying. Wood Blewitts literally everywhere, and many flowering just today and still being that crazy shade of purple. What else? Ceps in abundance, and loads of which have been kicked about by people so in the bag for dinner tomorrow! Not sure of all these being the same species, but there is so much variety within Cep especially that its hard to even identify them at all.
Blusher, Sulphur tuft, skwillions of Champignon, rollrings etc and I think even a few really nasty (but beautiful) Panther Caps.

Top tip - obviously, if you can't identify it, don't try to eat it!
Poisonous toadstools usually have a 'skirt' or a bulge ('volva') somewhere around the (usually white) stem.

Excellent late season Emperor Dragonfly too nearly 10cm long that Elsi tried to chase (!!!). Watched it for ages patrolling a stream edge. I never realised before that the irridiscent blue is very short lived and the older males fade as the season progresses. This one was distinctly yellow.
Red Admiral, a dozen or so Roe deer and a handful of donkeys - best way I can think of spending two hours this time of year.
Some of the trees are beginning to turn now, but again its later than ever.

I do adore the New Forest at this time of year, and especially as the seasons slowly shift a few weeks. This half term marks the end of the 'tourist season' now that the clocks have gone back and October comes to close. Most attractions, holiday camps etc are closing their doors, and our map and VG sales show a sharp decline throughout the month.
People are MAD! This is the 'end' of the season?? Surley it is the beginning.
The Forest is at its most beautiful between now and Christmas especially, but has a charm that goes throughout the winter when its forsty and occasionally, in snow, it becomes almost magical.
But no, that's fine - you can all f*k off now, with yer cars and your pink and white clothing (careful not to get the 4x4 dirty in that nasty mud...) and leave the place to us as knows how to read it.
Kids haven't had such a good day out for ages, with old friends the eldest have known all their lives. Hide and seek in the ferns. Poohstcks. Handfuls of excellent clay they will model with as it dries out through the week and a skwillion "Apricorns".

Sitting here now back from Peartree Services where I handed Biscuit safely over to her Mum a few minutes after our 8.30 arrangement. Fifteen years ago those 'few minutes' would have been enought o get me a load of serious verbal abuse, all kind sof threats about not seeing her ever ever ever again and all kind so fcomments about attitude, responsibility, commitment etc.
Seems its OK now, as of course it should be, but I must admit I was a little nervous when we got the text to say Mum had arrived at the rendezvous more than half an hour early.
Still all is well.

The A34 continues to be the spinal cord of my life it seems, the central trunk of the tree from which the branches of my life have spread. It seems an age since I have driven down it on my own in the darkness back home, but the road is familiar, friendly and one of the few places I can feel relaxed driving.
Connects Northampton with Southampton of course, via Oxford, which sits almost exactly halfway.
Always associate the road with both fond and dark memories, most of them good. Like jumping into its tide from Headington at around midnight on a Sunday after an hour on the phone to a drunken giggling Trx, and turning up to surprise her an hour later in Southampton. Then waking up around seven in the morning and driving staight to work at LJs.
She's as inspiring to come home to now as she was then, and it hardly seems to take any time at all before I'm swept into the driveway on a wave.

Knackered of course, and in the time I've been away Tx has cleared up all the loft and put away the bed, making a tidy little pile of all the usual things that get left behind.
There's a sigh of relief about the place and I too am glad she's gone in a perverse sort of way. We need to pull the reins in on some of the things we do and restore a bit of order to the household, so I'm hoping now is an opportunity to do that.
Looking forward to tomorrow for that reason.

Longest day tomorrow. Putting the clocks back tonight will mean the kids are up earlier than ever in the mornning and very tired by the evening - never a good start to a return to school week.
Stan and Flo both got new shoes today.
Poor girls feet are so big she is now limited to fairly 'adult' styles, which means heels, almost inevitably. Which make her even taller! And little Stan is so proud of his - I really must make an effort to shine his up more often!

He caught us out today. Seems to have cut his chin on my razor while pretending to shave in the bathroom! He's taken lately (as I recall ALice did at a similar age) messing with things in the bathroom. She cut the towls and the shower curtain with nail scissors, and he (or someone ??), keeps picking leaves of the plants in there!
He took ages to come down and was then holding a tissue to his chin looking very upset. Littl epoint making it worse by being cross with him - he got the pointof the silliness of it himself.
We'll need to be more careful, and work out quite what's going on. Hopefully it will only last a few weeks.

Not a good day, though it has picked up since this morning.
I had a difficult night last night and hardly slept at all thinking about Tx appointment at the surgery.
I will get used to it I'm sure, bt it all seems to me now that we have rushed things a lot. Neither of us wants to talk about it and the whole thing just seems a big mistake.
But its done now, so in my prayers I am looking for some peace of mind and reassurance that all will be well in the longer term.
So now she's been "done" and we wait to see the after effects int he next few weeks. Apparently she can expect some bleeding a discomfort for a month or so, six weeks at the outside and then it's over for five years.

Is this the beginning
Or is this the end...?

Having said that, she's overdone it this afternoon and shouldn't really have come with us to the 'Crunchy Park', woodland walk, muddy puddles, adventure playground. Has retired to bed unusually early, leaving me feel vague, confused and anxious.
Hey ho...

She was also upset Corinne Lucy's CD arrived this morning and with it a two-page letter of outrageous fun and frivolity. Because she had no idea I am in regular correspondence with Northampton's rising star I suppose, and that's my own fault. I've been touting the demo songs for most of this year and have had positive feedback from one or two people, but when I heard she'd booked studio time and recorded enough material for an album I had to have a copy. It's not all that excellent actually and I felt a little disappointed on first play, but she has talent in abundance and really deserves to be heard.
Slightly crazy too, which is always a good thing.
I was under the impression she had a few copies pressed and was sending them round herself (or at least her dad/manager was) but no. The songs exist as masters, and for this CD for me - the only one of its kind in the whole wide world - she has hand drawn a comedy cover, with handwritten titles and sleevenotes etc. Its weird to see this kind of artwork these days when most people use computers for everything.
A clever move I think - another sign that the girl has something.
OK she's 19 and beautiful. Kooky too.
It's called "Small Way of Life", and she's got another session on Radio Northampton in a couple of weeks time. Thats the BBC. Go girl.

I think its just a case of bad timing that's all, with emotions raw and confused at the moment. I will decline the invitation to the gig in two weeks.

No time anyway.
Next weekend is the Office Move. After that visiting family and Alice's 8th birthday. Then Foxx in Brighton. Then the church Bazaar (and the gig). Then Numan in London.

…at the University where I worked for four years until 2003 was a strange feeling this afternoon.
The place has changed so much since and an enormous amount of money has been invested in the campus. Looks great I have to say, but particularly the "Student Villages" where it seems you can now spend three years totally alienate from the rest of the city.
There are bars, clubs, banks, shops, gyms, swimming pools, cinemas, cafes, restuarants... no need to go "off campus" at all, which really seems to defeat the object of getting used to an independent life in a new city.
Or perhaps that's the whole point?
That's why we go on to build similarly isolated 'apartment complexes' with restuarants and shops underneath for these people when they become high-earning graduates.
heaven forbid anyone should have to interact with each other or the environment these days...

But Biscuit was impressed enough to be convinced this is where dshe wants to come to Uni, and I have now decided to encouorage that focus and look forward to having her kind of here or here-abouts for a couple of years.
Philosophy is a had subject though and requires AAB at A level, so she needs to get her head down and make sure she reaches the grades as expected next summer.

Scary how amazingly amazing some of the people look.
Especially the female ones...

… for the girls today - a trip into the City Centre to go shopping! We NEVER do this as a family, though occasionally I will venture into the shiny overcrowded 'mall' () to pick up the barest neccessities, and of course when I go to the bank once a week.
They went off with KR and her daughter from church to the Teddy Bear Factory to choose and buy a teddy for their stall at the bizarre in a few weeks time. Then were treated to ice cream and dougnuts on The Food Terrace before going back to their house to make signs and bunting and all manner of bits and pieces. They were out from 2 till after five, and I took LC with Stan for his swimming lesson, so we were able to give Tx an hour or three of calm between us.

Unusual to get a 'freebie' anywhere these days, but the lesson today was an extra (normally just get twelve weeks during term time) to allow the instructors to trian new instructors. Good value, and he enjoyed being taught by aman, which was interesting. Made me start thinking about his next year at school when he should get a male teacher which would be fabulous. Unless the school does its bi-annual shuffle round of the staff and he misses out like Flo did.

Two weeks ago today I ordered shelving, storage and screens from Viking Direct.
Normally they are reliable, but these orders all come from external suppliers and it has been absolutely rubbish. To make everything easier, I arranged with the guy who took the order that everything would come on the following Monday (last week) when I was at the new office painting. Only one delivery arrived.
So then I phoned on the Tuesday and was told that they were really sorry but it was always going to be the NEXT Monday and I must have made a mistake. That's the Monday just gone.
So I rang them on the Friday to say that wasn't convenient (as I was having a day off etc) and was assured that was OK, they would get onto the suppliers and arrange for the deliveries on tuesday.
"I've made a note on the file"
So of course, 10 am Monday the screens turned up and D had to walk down there to supervise delivery though he was very busy with other stuff and on his way to a meeting. When he got there (having explained to the driver that he would be 20 minutes), the packages were just standing outside the delivery bay with no note, no sdignature etc and no van!
Tuesday morning I rang Viking again to see what was going on
"I'm sorry sir, but you wouldn't have been ggiven a delivery date. It doesn't work like that."
"But I specifically had a note made on the file that delivery was not to be yesterday?"
"We don't have a note of that."
"So can I have the rest of the stuff today."
"I don't know sir, they come direct from the supplier. we don't know when they will deliver."
"Can't we arrange it with them?

etc

So anyway, the shelving hasn't come yet.
If the plan is to work perfectly they will arrive early enough tomorrow morning so that I can get down there and get some help from Biscuit and her boyfriend (who want to see the new place anyway) before we leave just after one for an Open Day at the uni.

What are the chances

Aching back today, after the exertions of planting the apple tree on my day off yesterday.
Not painful, just muscles tht I don't often use.Drilling 28 holes into the wall and screwing in the vine eyes didn't help either, and the sharp twinging has returned to my right forearm as a result of too much 'twisting'.
Looks great though! We now have the gooseberries, grapes AND apples all in place and can declare the garden ready to start agian.
Well, once we plant all the spring bulbs that we bought yesterday afternoon over at Haskins in the pouring rain...

Made me cringe and feel really quite uncomfortable to see all the nauseous and alarmingly expensive 'cheap' Christmas merchandise now on sale. It really sickens me more each year when I see around me what Christmas has been reduced and I feel sad for my children having to put up with a bombardment of nonsense and crass plastic rubbish.
It's probably LC's first year, so exciting from that regard and she will bring it all to life again for us, but it's such a shmae that the charm has gone out of it, to be replaced by money.
Some of the 'decorations' cost SO much - how come people have that much money to just be able to spent, say, £400 on a lifesize wicker reindeer??
There is certainly too much disposable income in this society nowadays.

Annoys me, because I am so NOT a humbug about Christmas and I do love it, but not all this shambles.
And in the middle of October as well - no wonder people get stressed by it and children get confused.
Stan was upset that he had missed Hallowe'en...

And there's another ridiculous commercial nonsense.

Apart from all that, which is easy enough to avoid I suppose, I had a good day off yesterday, even if I did overdo the hardwork. Kink left about 3 and got home safely, leaving Biscuit here for most of the week to spend as much time with her boyfriend as possible.
Not entirely sure I want her to stay for the entire week and we haven't yet talked abouthow she's getting home which I really need to get sorted so that the rest of us can plan some visitors next weekend.
Strange to have her about, and it makes me feel odd - a little nervous - but she's so nice, and very good with all the little ones.
Far more helpful around the house and generally more interactive than her sister.
Worked for an hour or so last night on her English homework, discussing the relative merits of Sylvia Plath and Philip Larkin...

Tonight for a couple of hours while Tx is out at a "MIND" party?
Interactive and intelligent toys for 0 - 12 yr olds.

i suppose we should start thinking about Christmas soon.
I think a SPiderman Annual or some Marvel comics would be great for Stan...

Nora's been great. for the past hour we have just been lying on the bed gurgling and smiling at one another! She's feeling better, and growing up.
The cutest little smile - when she can be bothered.
Great to see her awake though for so long.
Again I wonder how she might sleep later.

Aaaargh. the bl**dy heating has come on. What is she like???
It's sweltering up here even with the door and windows open.
Washing's drying indoors because of earlier rain, so I spose that's a good enough reason.
i HATE central heating - its a real spoiler on my otherwise favourite season.

The cats are raving mad - I think there's more rain about.
Off to the pub with Mirfee in a minute or three I think.
Nice.

Poor little Nora had her first injections today. One in each leg.
She's been asleep since 3 o'clock (its now 9!).
Maybe tonight Tx will get some sleep.

LC screamed all the way to her second morning at Pre-school but was then 'absolutely fine' as soon as I managed to tear myself away from her.

It's raining like mad now - really hammering on the windows.

…in other people's closets
Too many people taking
Without leaving deposits

An email today from the oldest of old 'flames' has ignited in me a childish giggle.
Seems Lo S has now got herself NH's job at LJ up in Oxford!! She has followed in my footsteps 20 years after I laid them, and brought to life a spark that has lay dormant for almost that long!
We worked together at Feltham between '85 and '87 as graduates on the draughtsman training programme and then went our seperate ways when I moved back to Oxford.
She was massively into Simple Minds and the BTCV.
Kept in touch for a year or so and I went along to watch her play football in a couple of tournaments, but that's been it.
I think Christmas cards may have been exchanged for a year or two beyond that.
Fascinating - she has even hinted at working with DMc on the World Atlas.

How will this hand play out?...

The ceasefire is holding.
In fact, it was only while out walking last night (why do I ALWAYS forget to take my notepad!!! The river was so beautiful) that I realized six weeks have now passed, at least, and I'm feeling rather pleased.
Can't say there haven't been moments, but they have been jsut that, and passed most often without a second thought.
Perhaps the emotions have been rather unstable lately as a result of this, but I expect it's just one factor. 25 years of battle is a long time, even if the last five have only witnessed sporadic gunfire and intense warfare has been rare. I have been close to this point so many times, but life is so busy and fulfilling right now, and I'm so tired I'm hardly aware of what it is I'm not doing.
Does that make any sense?
I certainly feel stronger when I do think about it, but I know it isn't going to just 'go away'. There are so many better, more constructive and spiritually fulfilling ways of coping with these long and sleepless nights.
Those who matter have come into brighter focus than ever.

This celibacy game is strengthening too. I can see things differently when I can be bothered to look.
We are so much more relaxed with each other. One problem I am uncertain of is precisely how I will react once Tx goes to the doctor in a fortnight's time and begins the IUS programme. A 'new' contraception that has been recommended to us, as effective as female sterilisation, which we considered briefly. This method involves a type of coil being fitted which releases hormones into the body?
It has prompted me to answert the calling to visit the clinic again and have another sperm count to see exactly what is going on.
But I'm scared to. Is that fair?
Since the vasectomy 18 months ago (April 2005) things have been very difficult and I have spoken to a couple of people about how disappointed I am about the lack of support and counselling you get afterwards. I have been struggling to adapt to its effect on me, which is far greater than I ever anticipated or was told about. It certainly wasn't the gateway to a more open and relaxed sex life - in act, I'd suggest the opposite.

How many times have I wished that all the feelings and emotions around sex would have been taken away too?? The whole lot - all the hormones, pheromones, erotic thoughts - everything.
…Broadcast me
Scrambled clean
Ah, free me from this flesh
…I want to be a machine

And then Nora's miraculous conception and the test results which indicated my fertility had risen again to 30% set me back further.
I can't express how fantastic it is to have Nora and all that she means to us, but conceiving her after a vasectomy was signed off all clear and within a week of resuming 'relations' was a massive shock to the system and has definitely caused a negative reaction in me that seems to get 'worse' everyday.
This explains I'm sure why I am enjoying the freedom of celibacy.
I am concerned that once Tx is 'sterile' and I am re-done, if that's the case, then I will start to run out of excuses.

This is all quite ridiculous and makes it sound as if I have a really negative attitude and experience of sex, which is far from the case.
That's what makes it all so hard to explain.
Surely if I don't miss sex and enjoy 'living without' as it were, this suggests I must have either been crap at it or had really bad experiences.
On the contrary.
I'm instead very aware of the tides of life and the changing needs we all experience.

Blimey.
I had no idea that I was going to write about this.
Cathartic, I suppose.
Here's to blogging...

… by a phone call from RH this afternoon, relatively out of the blue.
He asked if my ears were burning last night?
Had to be honest and say no, then he went on to relate details of a very pleasant, jovial and relaxing evening photographing sunsets"with Fx" during the course of which he talked about 'our' ideas for the website (???) and formally declared my existence and help.
R's judgement of trustworthy support is OK by the main man, and it seems he is 'very interested' in my suggestion that he might one day like to consider palying CO in our humble church!
RH too is not the least bit upset about the appearance of another fansite that is very competent and professional. Quiet City si not out to compete with the official site by any means, but serves as a great 'introductory' site to the man's music.
Talking of which, I have today at long long last managed to compile a definitive list of bootlegs.
I now have 20 if you include the Nottingham DVD and to date I only know of one other - London LA2 on the Exotour.
That's not a bad set

…for a living?

Monday, I was painting all day in the new office. The furniture delivery came at 11 so I cycled down there to meet Ian and help unload. Turned out to be only one-third of the order. The rest isn't now coming until "after Wednesday" so I stayed to help out with the decorating. Looking great.
Then on the way back I delivered several hundred attractions leaflets to a couple of the big hotels.
Tuesday was accounting day. I've been putting it off for ages and my desk was awash with paper, receipts, bills etc. Took all day to go thru everything as I haven't really attacked this since July (!!!) but now its all done, and amazingly enough I have brought my records to within £50 of the bank's figures. Not at all bad, for a designer...
Today I have mangaed to do some cartography! Hurrah. Farnham mainly.
Using this week as a window in the World Atlas to catch up with so many other projects. The best of these is a Christmas markets leaflet for the city for which we will once again be paid in cash at a nice profit in time for spending on presenrts.
Ian has just called to report the painting is all done.
He's a star. Once the racking turns up and I get it all installed we can start moving crap.

It's very interesting how the tags used on some of these entries determine how many hits I get.
Maybe some people tag things with eccentirc words just to get more hits?
Surely that's not how it works…

Twelfth wedding anniversary this weekend, and we arranged a beautiful day out at Highcliffe Castle in the sunshine. Had an hour on the beach at the bottom of the (re-surfaced and now very boring) ZigZag Path and then walked back via (the newly opened) Steamer Point Nature Reserve to the tearooms for lunch.
Late lunch - nearly 2pm, but at least the kids ate things!!

Trx bought me a fascinating book I was browsing in Ottakars the other day called Conversations with God which I look forward to reading, and for her present I framed a lovely picture of Nora from the set MS took on a CD he delivered to me last weekend.

Unfortunately, as soon as we started for home in the car LC threw up everywhere! One of those random things that she does every once in a while,a nd she then promptly fell asleep and slpet soundly all the way home - where she threw up again half a dozen times through the evening.
Poor little mite - she looks so tiny and helpless wrapped up in a duvet on the settee all white with big red rings round her eyes.
Thank God though that it seems to have been a one-off and she has eaten voraciously all day today and no-one else has shown the slightest sign of any ill effects.

I don't do sick though - everything else I'm fine about but this is one of those children things that I'm afraid I just can't deal with.

Just come into the office to try and keep a handle on the packing up and make sure the place is relatively clean and ordered so that Jo and Ian can get to their desks tomorrow morning.
This is difficult now that D is living out of the office since (finally…) splitting up with his girlfriend last weekend. Not entirely out of the blue since he explained a week or three ago that they were giving it another go, but this was definitley going to be her last chance, he couldn't be bothered anymore with the same issues over and over again etc etc.
She clearly did try, but how difficlut must it be to have to force ways and moods and attitudes upon yourself in order to keep in a relationship. And of course and soon as she slipped back to being her normal self, she was dumped.
Borrowed time doesn't last for long, but I have never really had the highest regard for their relationship anyway.
Perhaps I'm a little cynical, and of course I don't wish unhappiness upon anyone, but the lack of respect he seemed to have for her at times was quite remarkable and painful to witness.
But in the last year she has sold her flat, given up her job and moved down to a strange city where she didn't know anyone except 'his' friends. That's commitment I suppose - albeit one-sided to an outside observer. It was always going to be hard for her and now even harder. She has nothing about her whatsoever either, talk about a wet fish (which is why they worked for four years I suppose, with him calling all the shots) and will find sorting her own life out quite a challenge having handed the reigns over.
It's all very sad, and he's been understandably down the last few days.
I do hope it isn't being related to all our clients as part of the sales pitch as happened with Nora's arrival.
That really makes me quite cross and is hard to listen to.
But I'm convinced that living out of this tiny room is NOT best solution - especially when it's left with shoes and clothes and boxes of 'things' over other people's desks. But it may be all he has for a while as he starts to move stuff to a friend's about 10 miles away, so as long as there's some room to move it will ahve to do for the next couple of weeks.

Turn off your mind
Relax and float downstream

1. Where would you visit if you only had six weeks to live?

My Mum and Dad. or Finland

2. What do you see in this picture?

There's no picture. I'm no good at this cut and paste thing

3. Under what circumstances is lying the right thing to do?

It probably isn't.

4. If you were marooned on a desert island which food would you crave?

Chocolate I expect. or cake. Or chocolate cake.

5. Could you become celibate?

Yes, comfortably. It eliminates so much stress and confusion.

6. Does the idea of God help us to behave morally?

Society already has the idea of God.
Believing in God is what makes the difference.
The questions in these stupid things are always worded so ignorantly.

7. Describe a nightmare that woke you up shaking.

I haven't.

8. What picture immediately comes to your head when you here the word 'Christmas'?

My fireplace.

9. Why are people capable of despicable cruelty?

Insecurity. Under-fathering.

10. If you need to relax what would you picture to help you achieve that state?

If? When, surely? My son's face on the beach this afternoon.

*****

Sorry for wasting your time.

I've just caught this program for the first time.

Bl**dy hilarious! How refreshing it is to see a 'comedy' show on TV (obviously a blatant parody of "HIGNFY') that is not governed by strict rules of censorship and political correctness.
It's just funny.
Witty, intelligent people taking the mickey out of everythng and everybody in a clever, quick and humourous way.
Just funny.
No political point-scoring, no racial offense, no homophobia - pure and simple funny.

Can't we all just lighten up and accept some things are just meant to be funny and don't mean any more or less than that?

Here's a pointy thing.
North Korea explodes a nuclear bomb (or do they?) which is about as clear a declaration as you can get that they have 'weapons of mass destruction'.
The US went to war with Iraq because they suspected Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.

Why haven't they declared war on North Korea?
Is there no oil in North Korea??

I'm sorry, I haven't a clue. It's probably not as simple as that.
Though apparently only 8% of American citizens own a passport...

OK, explain these.

An unusual day yesterday.
During lunchtime, I decided to go onto eBay (where I don't have an account and have never bought anything...) just to see what John Foxx material was being sold at the moment.
Among all the usual picture disc vinyl and limited edition prints is a bootleg CD recorded at Crewe on the first night of the recent tour.

I think its really Bad Form when people try to sell things like this.
Its illegal, isn't it? I know bootlegging generally is disapproved of, but the compromise seems to be that for trade and personal use only its acceptable.
I persuaded Ian to buy it for me to get it out of circulation this way, and then emailed the seller myself with abig rant about the ethics of it all.
It arrived this morning - good quality, and with the only version of "From Trash" they played.

How did I know it was going ot be there to make me go to eBay in the first place?

And in the evening, I'm cycling home from work and decided to go round the bridge rather than over it just for a change.
I went down the road and over the railway line where a group of people were huddling around to look at something beside the track.
It's a swan, wandering about the road looking very confused. Nobody helped.
So I just got off my bike and escorted through the crowd back to the river back through a hole in the fence.
Arm round a swan? How weird, it was a little aggressive at first but they don't peck hard and like cats if you stand your ground they just accept that yo ua re there.

Fun, and a bit surreal.
But why did I go that way??

cos your love
Shines free
Moves me
In mysterious ways…

Working last night and in the peaceful darkness I got so much done.
And played "Drift" through twice which is tremendously powerful and uplifting.

No less than 6 albums arrived yesterday, so big thanks to The Church Puddle down there in Exeter.

Louis Gordon - Deep Electric Blue EP
Piano Magic - The troubled sleep of Piano Magic
Scott Walker - Pola X
Ute Lemper - Lullabyes
Hood - Cold House
The Late Cord - the Late Cord

Three of these artists I have never heard before.
And I'm in the office on my own today just plodding through stuff that's boring me now.
Piano magic sound the most interesting...

Kink
dyed her hair red and now wears a lip-ring as the piercing has settled.
Biscuit
passed her theory driving test today. gets pissed off when I don't ring on Sunday nights, but then blocks the phoneline for two hours chatting to the boyfriend
the boyfriend
now lives just down the road from us in halls. texts me on a regular basis. cool person - I like him
Flo
is not getting any better at grammar and spelling, but seems much more settled now we have decided on a secondary school.
Starts guides tomorrow
the secondary school
is suggesting we have filled in the wrong application form, but we have only sent back to them the one they gave out on open day
Alice
went for her annual hearing test at the hospital today and has been passed all clear. Third child in a week to be 'checked out' like this.
Stan the man
My saviour. Giggly, silly and a bundle of laughs. Has a sense of humour to die for and everyone loves him. Fell off his scooter today.
LC
Passed all clear at the hospital on Friday. She's not too smalll after all. Just tiny.
Like my gran. We always knew this. Bloody professionals and their tick boxes
Nora
is asleep. Just given her a bath and put her down.
We have about two hours

That's the family sorted out.
I'm playing Foxxian things tonight.

Working up a few ideas for the website, proof reading the TCM sleeve transcription and working (at last) on the biography. Just moving towards the Golden Section, but at the moment lost in the wilderness of 1982. Depeche Mode, Fad Gadget, Bronksi Beat and Lloyd Cole are all busy recording at The Garden. John's running the show and writing stuff, but with no opportunity to record. The first version of Endlessly is due out soon to appease Virgin who are still desperate for a return. It's rushed and unrealised.

Recorded the compilation CD today.
Need a new title and some inspiration to work on the cover.
Must paly it through again.
Something will emerge

I've got HP6 from the library.
Have the idiots drawn his scar in the wrong place ont he front cover??!!!

the business partner
Bought me lunch today. We are getting on much better. Realising that things are taking off, we need to tighten up management. I will try to make this my repsonsibility. His focus will be sales next year. We agreed to take on new part-time staff in january. Then we will be five
the staff
were in late today. good atmosphere when we are all four in and the place is buzzing.
the office
Is bursting open and hopelessly untidy. Ordered the new racking, desks and screens today for delivery next Monday. So we have to complete the painting by then.

So much things. So full head. Such challenges and rewards.
Why such dull emptiness??

Depressed???

Someone suggested it yesterday and now I'm wondering how I would know if it were true or not..
I am certainly more tired than I remember ever being before, but not all the time.

And there have been more than one occasion when I have run out of "Being-Bothered-Juice" in the last couple of weeks.?

Hmmm - do you know I haven't the faintest idea