I know I've said this before, but it I feel this so often.
If not my epitaph, then my objective in live is this:

One day
I want to grow up to be
Worthy of my children

Biscuit and Kink came down today, arriving safely at 11 without going wrong or arguing at all. Now they are 'young adults' with independent lives they seem to be gettig on so much better.
Kink has had a lip piercing, still sore as she only had it done of Friday. Looks awkward at the moment, with the rather-too-long stud they use to start with and all the swelling behind it, but otherwise quite cool. I'd be happier to see the full snakebite, but she wants to get used to one side at a time and see if she like sit after her ear piercings went all scabby and crap a few years ago.
That was my surprise.
Wishful thinking on my part I suppose that they might turn up in a shiny new car.

They brought with them a card from their mother.
The Game of Chess is never quite over - again she feels I need to be reminded that she is still there.
Nice thought tho. I think. I reserve the right to be sceptical.

Took everyone over to Royal Vic CP this afternoon in the sunshine that burst thru the clouods after lunch. Still a crazy wind so the kite stayed in the car, but we christened the cricket set, climbed a few trees and enjoyed some excellent cloud watching.
Yes, five of us actuall did lay in a star shape with our heads inthe middle looking up.

Dads and Their Daughters.
Sometimes, and its getting a little easier, I thinkit's OK to feel quite smug about stuff.
So many peoplel so many times tell us such great things about the family that now and again it sinks in and we start to believe in it ourselves.

Inspiration has come back, along with the smiles, jokes and even subtle innuendos that are returning to Tx conversation.
She opted not to come with us but instead took Nore to Tesco!
Even this she enjoyed. Baby asleep the whole time and shopping done in an hour, so nearly another hour browsing the Homeware department and enjoying a cup of tea and some people watching.
Its great to see her cheering up again.

Both the girls were amazed when Mrs C turned up from church after the service with a Shepherd's Pie and an Apple Crumble that she had baked for us!
An amazing gift of thoughtful kindness and very much appreciated.
Unfortuantely she remembered when she stood chatting to me on the doorstep that we are all vegetarian, and was very embarassed, promptly taking back the Pie and offering to bring something different.
We do know a lot of really sweet, selfless, friendly and genuine people.
the crumble wan't as good as mine (everyone said so) but that isn't the point. If ever its the thought that counts this was it - makes you feel good to think that other people consider you to be worthy of the time and personal skills.
Oh to be a fly on the wall now and again.

Their departure this evening was tinged with sadness,a nd I have just got over the usual hour of sensitivity and withdrawal that follows this difficult time.
But how many people have the wonderful gift of seven?
It makes me feel very very special.
Unworthy, it's true, but I'm working on that.

There is never no time or no point.
Make time. Make the effort.
Time will inevitably pass, and you only regret the things you DIDN'T do.

All that is worthy takes effort.
Give, and you will receive.

How can they possibly be 'in the way', hold you back or prevent you getting what you want from life?
Move the goalposts, make the choice.
there is ALWAY ALWAYS a choice.

Our children teach us all we need to learn.