… I came into the world, just as Sir James of Saville introduced the very first edition of TOTP.
More than a tinge of sadness as I watch the (disappointing) last ever episode today. I have lived my life through TOTP and will mourn its loss.
I agree with downloads and satellite TV and music video programs everywhere it has lost its relevance, but they should have made more of the live performances and brought it back to life as still one of the only shows on TV where you get to actually see the bands performing.
But perhaps no-one really does that anymore...?

Anyway, a great day in the middle of our last busy weekend I hope for a while.
Npton yesterday to see Mum and dad with the kids, leaving Flo there for a few days for the first time.
Brixworth CP is crap now - dirty, smelly, run down and too busy.
Tiring on my own, but TRx needed a well-deserevd break.
Then Biscuit and Kink's visit today was exhausting (they've only just gone).

A cookery book on baking (with some SUPERB photography) and a book of silly anecdotes about eBay. A hand-painted china cat and a personalised breakfast bowl. A garden fork, a half-bottle of JD and some twinkly china things to build a mobile in the garden. Random is a good word.
Helped Kink write her artists profile. Its not there yet but coming on.

Bundy returned the telescope, which has now seen White-tailed Eagle, and Minke Whale. Bastard!
Three weeks in the Western Isles - superb stuff. Glad I kept the scope. It still has life.

Wrote three interviews up on Friday night and posted a review of Cathedral Oceans. People seem to like it. Need to persuade those than can organise it to set up a forum where we can all post album reviews. On the individual album profile pages I think, so that everything you ever need to know abouyt that album is in the same place.

And I've at last played the re-masters, which sound shit. Brilliant albums of course, but rather spoiled by a hasty remastering that lacks depth and is woefully weak on bass. really tinny and cacophonous, especially on tracks like "Quiet men". I shall be playing the 1993 CDs again in future. Collectors only need apply.

Arrived home from work this afternoon to find two 'newborn' size car seats, a bouncing chair and three bags of baby clothes outside the frontdoor!
brilliant - people are so kind and already I feel we'll get loads of similar donations oand offers of help when she arrives. Inspiring.
Trx picked me up about 4.30 so I could bring a printer home, and also to collect Alice and Flo who'd been in the office helping put together room folders all afternoon. We have 3,000 to make up next week so its all hands to the pump. the last pages for the inserts arrived on three pallets this morning and look absolutely fantastic. I am leaving the assembly to Jo and damian because I know he can be impossible to work with in this environment. She has sorted everything out over the last two weeks and has a system in place, but he has to do it all differently, try to move things around and just prove too many points.
I think we need to just let her run the thing and it will be fine.
Heaven forbid that he should accept that she might know what she is doing...

So I am manning the office, finishing of pageone and getting on with mapping Farnham and Botley.
That is, when I'm not on the phone doing the Foxx thing. Three calls from RH over the last two days - twice this afternoon - reporting on how well the tour is going and just generally catching up. I am being sent a list of questions for AL to put to Billy Currie when he interviews him for beatmag next week. For whatever reason, EV can't get an interview out of Billy for the Anthology project, and it was he who shat on the Island re-masters. Relations are tense there (he can be a difficult so-and-so) but I think Rob has a good idea. While AL is talking to Billy , he might try and get something out of him regarding Ultravox especially now that the re-issues are in circulation.
This is all for Monday night in Brighton, so I hope it does come off. Should do. The twinges are slowing down...
It's extremely annoying to see signed copies of the new albums on sale in eBay already. At the gigs, some w*nkers have been buying twenty or more copies in one go for the RRP of £12 and then selling them on eBay for upwards of £30!! There are so few of them also that fans are unable to get signed copies at the gigs. Problem is exaggerated when the Foxx management won't address the issue because as far as they are concerned they are getting the money they wanted for the CDs. And eBay won't do anything about it because the get a cut.
It's all twisted. We need to limit things like this to ONE copy of each per person on the night,a nd then any remaining albums are sold thru official channels after the tour - online so that fans abroad can get them etc.

Downloaded the most exquisite preview of Oceanic this week from KBs website, and duly copied the necessary people in.
Its also disappointing that, despite remanders a few weeks ago and constant talk of of it, no-one has yet sent me a set list for any of the gigs. I spoke to PY and asked for one from Sheffield and he 'didn't take any notes' commenting instead that I'm sure they will be posted on EV soon. He's a bit slow that one - one of the UKs biggest and most loyal fans with a huge collection of stuff, but it seems (and I've noticed this now more than once) he isn't too willing to make his own contributions. Always first to email when there's been an interview or whatever,a sking for copies, but when he's on the spot to make an effort it doesn't happen.
True of far too many people, so again I can understand the frustration.

John is on Radio 4 on Tuesday, talking to Jarvis Cocker on his three part look at art-school pop which is absolutely fascinating. I'm all set to record this bit of course, but I can guarantee no-one else will, so for now I won't announce that its going to happen. Shouldn't be selfish about it I suppose, but I would like to see more people making contributions and we could really have a valuable resource going.
Nottingham tonight, and I don't know of anyone going. General criticism is that the venues are too smaill, too hot and too loud, but in most cases its going down a storm.

I'm supposed to be going out tonight, but as usual with this local beers night I believe it when I see it. Matt called off last week because he and PM are going out this week, to which I have invited myself along. But turns out they haven't arranged it after all. Its a drink in the pub for goodness sake, I hate it when it becomes a Big Deal.

Routine midwife appointment today and the 'diagnosis' is all good.
Baby is engaged comfortably, but measuring bigger than the 34 -and-a-half week standard. She seems to think Trx is more likely at the 37 week stage, which moves everything into a very exciting phase. It doesn't get any less exciting either, despite being fifth time round!
Trx has very low blood pressure tho again and is not resting enough. You tell her - I can't!
With four others at home for the summer holidays its a bit of a challenge, especially when, like me, she does set herself ridiculously high standards. I try as often as I can to give her an evening 'off' by doing all the routine jobs and leaving her in the armchair with a book and her feet in a bowl of sopay water.
At most this lasts half an hour and she's off again, dusting, cleaning, putting things away, washing tings, writing lists, planning the next days activities. Nest-building I suppose, but in this oppressive heat she is wearing herself out.

Rain looks imminent again this evening (thunderstorms last night) so I am going to postpone putting anohter coat of paint on the gate and instead replant the clematis. We might even then be able to start to plan the plantin gproperly instead of our usual piecemeal approach when we see a plant we like.
At the moment, an apple tree, some more gooseberries and a grapevine seem to be favourites.

While Tx was at the doctors, I took the kids down to a family day at the Museum of Archaeology, but for the little ones it was a bit crap. Stan enjoyed the exhibits (especially the bronze age daggers, roman armour and dinosaur bones) but LC found the whole thing too boring and was difficult to keep interested. Even the 'events' for the older ones were badly organised. A really rubbish story-teller, some mosaic making and chalk carving. Could have been OK but it was heavily oversubscribed.

I've got the sexy new A1 DesignJet working now and successfully colour matched our poster! That should represent quite a saving in the long term as they are now costing us less than £1 each instead of more than £3.
Still unhappy with the way its going, far too heavy on ads rather than events and I can't accept the Table Dancing club having such a prominent space, but it does still look well-balanced and colourful as ever. First anniversary issue, so quite an achhievement.

two more new contracts for mapping today - Christchurch, and a new Hampshire Attractions programme. VERY busy now in the office, and with the printer running its like a furnace. Already three weeks behind on the World Atlas, so I anticipate that going mad soon. The Indian subcontractors have had one 20-hour sample since 14th July and have now at last promised delivery on 31st!!!
Quite ridiculous. Turns out they haven't done this type of work before, or given a time or a price for it!
So the first installment (due in this week) will be for marginally less than BuggerAll work. Mind you - we need it. There's only a few pounds over JO's salary in the account. No bills either, but I'd like a more comfortable cushion. Still owed far too much from April and May.
I feel sometimes it will always be like this. We very nearly et there and it slips away again. Of course, on paper, everything is groovy.

So with baby now perhaps within only 3 weeks I am having second thoughts about going to Brighton on Monday. When the dates were announced I felt confident that we had plenty of time, and decided then that this would be the last outing for a while (at least during August!). Now I'm not so sure.
Tx is determined that it will be fine - she hasn't got any other plans for my birthday so is giving me the ,omey for the two albums on the night.
Lets' hope it will be fine. I don't feel nearly ready for the baby yet.
That will be years away.

When do you become a grown up?
Always amazes me this, how we are perceived to be so much more adult than we actually are. Now and then I reflect on my parents situation and remember that when my dad was 40 I was 18 and so I really should be able to remember it. Didn't give them half the respect they deserved at the time, but starting to make up for that now. And if my Dad felt then as I do now, he was hardly a grown-up either, although of course he and Mum have always seemed like grown-ups to me.
Its a funny thing.
I feel I have such a lot to learn and so much more to give, love and experience. Heaven forbid that I turn into an adult overnight.

Pass me my slippers love. Do you want some more tea...?

One of those days when I never really got going. Even the kids lie in bed until nealr 8 o'clock which is almost unheard of.
Church service was uninspiring (again) and not helped by a behind-the-scenes domestic which meant the scene setting had to be brought abandoned at the last minute, to be replaced only by coffee and doughnuts which usually happens after.
So it was upside down fromthe start and rather drifted apart from there.

Stan had his third birthday party in as many weeks at 2pm, and after that I took the girls over to the park.
Absolutely boiling ove rthere, with not even a breeze off the river to cool things down so we only stayed an hour. Long enough though for LC to get a ride on the trains, which she loves.

By the time we got home, Trx sister and brother in law had arrived with their new carer. She was nice enough and got on well with the children.
G is not looking at all well though, and the MS really seems to be taking hold of her. She's losing strength and control in her neck muscles now and her head lolls around a lot. her speech is getting more disjointed than ever and I find it quite hard to understand her now.
Trx was quiet after she left, and knows that something is going wrong. They didn't stay for long either which is unusual in itself.

That was it reaal. A good old fashioned Sunday type of Sunday.

You know that point in your life when you look into a mirror and see your father's face looking back at you?
When you feel yourself, slowly, inexorably becoming more like him.

I've been working in The Garden most evenings this week, moving the only two remaining plants, giving the shed its first ever treatment of Ronseal and tonight putting the washing like back up and painting the new gate with primer.
A little bit at a time and slowly The Garden is beginning to come back to us.
But at the end of each session I have been washing brushes carefully and putting all my tools quite carefully back in the garage where they came from. This is the bit about my dad - you'd be proud of me sir, some of that discipline is surfacing at last.
Really feel as a result of all this that i am starting to 'bond' with The Garden now, especially my fabulous new wall. It has brought such a new atmosphere to the place and I've taken time after working to just sit on the patio and listen to some music, drinking a cup of tea and watching the moths. Even two bats this evening.
We've always had a lot of wildlife round here.
This afternoon, in the rain, there were four frogs hopping across the 'grass' (burned out, seeded patch).

And what rain!! We got caught init for just aminute crossing the Garden centre car park and got absolutely drenched at the beginning of a two-hour downpour. Desperately needed and very refreshing. All the colours are brighter now, Everything smells fresh and clean. Europe After The Rain.

Stopped raining just in time (about 2ish?) for me to take all the kids down the Open Day at the new Community Centre round the corner. Great new building and no surprise they are already stealing Church Centre hirers, but the eveny itself was a bit boring and nothing much was going on. Stan tho really seemed to enjoy watching the Kung Fu and Karate demonstrations.
Gave Trx a much needed break for a couple of hours

By that bloke in the pub.
A big rant. All the rants in one rant.
Getting it off the chest and out of the system.

You have been warned...

This country has an identity crisis and lacks confidence and direction.
We have a established a system that is becoming a victim of its own success and turning now on itself in a downward spiral of self-deprecation, biting the very hand that fed its early years.
There was a need to establish benefits and welfare in order to provide those people that couldn't find work with a means to an income, sufficient to meet basic needs and keep them out of poverty. Over the course of time, this system has evolved and responded to its social, political and economic environment to a point where the benefit structure is now a choice for some and increasingly more, providing better levels of income than low-paid employment, better access to services and a gateway to a generally higher standard of living than was ever thought possible fifty years ago. In many cases people choose to live on benefit because they can survive comfortably enough, and that position in turn gives them other advantages that are often harder for those in work to reach. It has become an attractive option.
People will read this and go "Hey! I don't WANT to be on Income Support (or whatever). I want to work, but there's no jobs. It's not a choice!" And there will be those with disabilities that find this argument unacceptable too. I hear you, but please read what I actually said.
Where I think this becomes an issue is because some of the problems associated with unemployment (in the 50s in particular) were a decline in self-esteem and a lack of purpose leading to depression, violence, and alcoholism, not just poverty and hunger etc. Its these latter issues that benefits (and credit facilities) address very effectively, raising standards higher than ever before. What is not being addressed are those other factors associated with work, eg - self-esteem, self-respect, a sense of belonging to a bigger system, social interaction, discipline, responsibility.
It is these qualities that I think are have been eroded over the past couple of generations and their absence, or at least decline, is a major cause of some of the unrest and often unbelievable human behaviour we read about in the papers these days. Kids stabbing each other at school, road and trolley rage, violence against women and children, paedophilia, divorce etc etc…
I recognise that this erosion is slow and almost imperceptible, and that many changes and shifts in society and political decisions, technological 'advances' etc have their part to play. But I haven't got on to that.
I think what I'm really looking at and genuinely feel is one of the major 'problems' we face today is a general lack of respect for, and knowledge of, ourselves as individuals. This subsequently manifests itself in a lack of respect for others.
In part, by not going 'out to work' in the traditional sense, people don't have rules to abide by (time keeping, deadlines, quality control, codes of behaviour etc) and they have fewer objectives and inspirations. They also have less to actually occupy themselves, and so seek to do this in other ways. Shopping, spending surplus income, gaming, owning stuff for example.
I have been trying to work out how a lot of the people I know and see around who live in rented 'social' housing on relatively uninspiring estates with poor roads and no services (like the areas I saw in East London recently, for instance) seem to have a lot more disposable income than I do and more than many of my circle of friends. These are the people who can't afford, for example, school uniform or school trips and meals, or to go out to zoos, attractions etc, but who can afford three Station Wagons, expensive trainers or Playstations for their children and 48" plasma flat screen televisions. It seems unbalanced to me, because these are not the 'poor' families that lived 'on the dole', and yet there is not a working adult in the family.
Without the moral code of, to use my example, the workplace, I think, people don't generally get experience in how to behave. They get little satisfaction from their lives in a deep sense because they are missing the opportunity to be a part something and take satisfaction from that, which in its turn induces apathy and boredom. Yet the need is still there that has ever been present.
A man working and in a better paid job than his neighbour will delight in buying a bigger car to park in the drive, or bring home a bigger Christmas tree. I think, sadly, that this is quite fundamental. To meet this need now, cars and material 'things' previously associated with wealth and a large income are cheaper than ever, affordable to many more people. And if we cannot still for whatever reason afford the real things, it has become acceptable, and even now fashionable to have cheaper replicas. Fakes. I feel that although Fake is new the new Real, it still shows a fundamental need in us to have 'nice' things. But we demand them cheaper and cheaper so that we can have more and more of them with the money and credit we have available. And someone, somewhere is paying for it.
But it seems that as long as we are not paying for it, its not a problem.
The world Out There scares people because they don't feel part of it. So they drive everywhere in airconditioned cars with blacked out windows. Put a DVD in the seat, and that's the safety thing complete. No need to look out of the scary window now.
So we don't breathe real air, or feel the rain. Its no surprise that environmental awareness is declining. People are not even part of their social environment any more, let alone the natural one.

Oh, I'm massively into recycling. We recycle everything at home.
Great stuff, but why are you throwing that drinks carton away.
Huh?
Well you know I recycle them, that’s what that pile is in the kitchen.
You do that - wash and flatten them all?
Sure.
And then what?
They get posted up to a pulping mill in Scotland.
Who pays for the postage?
I do of course, how else does it get there?
Bugger that. Can't be bothered with all that cleaning and shit. They smell. And forget costing money to post them off. That's mad!
Its called recycling. You are massively into it at home.

Effort brings its own reward. Work at it. Give it time. Watch it flower.
If its worth having, its worth the effort to get it.
It used to be the case that credit cards (like shiny new cars) were the property of the more affluent classes, whose income was judged sufficient by the financial institutions to justify a monthly advance on salary. But that has at some grey, indeterminate point been declared 'unfair' and so these terms and opportunities are being offered to those who were not previously considered. All this does is feed the desire to possess more stuff, which I believe hides a fundamental dissatisfaction with life and underlying unhappiness.
Putting it another way, it has become a way of hiding the self and choosing not to see the reality. Why? Why are we so afraid to be who we are? What is lacking and what are we so frightened or ashamed of? Why is it so hard to accept that others are more worthy of some things than ourselves; some cleverer, or faster, richer or poorer. Let us embrace the difference between each of us and aspire instead to meet our own standards and accept our individual limitations.
It seems with more and more things in the shops and goods being produced at ever cheaper prices and faster than ever, that we have more choice than ever before. But I don't think a lot of people actually want choice,. They can't cope with it, and it confuses them. They are in fact not able to exercise free choice because they no longer know what they want.
They want what they see around them, in the enclosed world they inhabit that cuts them off not only from the Big Wide World, but also from the areas they live in and even the people who live around them. Neighbours no longer speak to each other anymore, and young people find it easier and more comfortable to send text messages or emails than engage in a conversation. The result, they lose the ability to engage in a conversation. They don't go to shops because that involves social interaction, meeting people in the street, passing the time of day with those around us. And because they can't be bothered. And back we come again to the core of my argument. Motivation. People have no motivation, no desire, and perhaps even no need to achieve things, or to 'better' themselves. To do this would mean breaking out of the comfort zone, and people are afraid to do that. They have no self confidence, and no belief in themselves. In part, because they are not in work.
But I was talking about choice. I really don't think people even have enough confidence to choose for themselves any more. They don't know what they want, so they find it easier to be told, and in so doing associate themselves with a peer group. Its that fear of individuality again. Why so scared to be different?
We are told what to wear, where to live, what to eat, what toys we should be buying, what car to drive and where to drive it. What holidays to take, what music to listen to, how we should bring up our children. Its difficult to go out there and choose things for yourself. Why, for instance, can I never find any clothes I like in the shops and have to rummage online for hours to find the music I want to buy? Am I hard to please? No, I don't think so. Its because I live my life outside the mainstream. A bit. Its an uncomfortable, challenging and scary place. And consumerism doesn't welcome me. My values and sense of identity make me isolated and seen as an outsider in the playground.
People resent it in some way, and make us feel awkward because we don't 'belong' to them.
I have been self employed now for the past thirteen years, and director of my own company since 2002. It has been a long, arduous road, that is only very recently looking a little easier and worthwhile. Things that are worth having are worth working hard for.
Things that we can so easily nowadays just get have no value, that's why we always want more.
You want that big, flashy new car for £100 a month?
Here, its yours.
But how much is it?
The car - £100 a month.
But how much is it really, how much does it actually cost?
Do you want the car or not?

But that doesn't satisfy a need, it just creates an opportunity to get something else. The inner hole is still there. I explain occasionally my job to people, and my position, and they are a little surprised. There's a misconception that, as a company director, I should have all these wonderful Things. Putting aside for a minute the fact that I don't want them anyway, I couldn't begin to afford it. My take home salary this year will be just about up to £12,000 by Christmas.
I can't get credit cards because I have missed payments and am considered a bad risk.
I can't remortgage my house for another two years because we fell behind with payments for six months.
So is there an argument that I know I can't get 'stuff' because of this, so therefore I convince myself I don't want it? Perhaps there is. I'd like to here it - would make for a good debate over a few beers.
But I think the difference is that I have a sense of self worth and respect for what I believe in. I think 'Rights' are in the ascendancy now, at the expense of 'Responsibility'. People are reluctant to take responsibility for their own actions upon themselves because they lack a fundamental belief in themselves and their own abilities.

So perhaps I think I know what at least part of 'the problem' is.
But this doesn't give me any answers.
Its just the way things are.

Discuss…

Imagine being 33 weeks preganant in this ridiculous heat!
It is a little cooler today (below 30°!) but Trx has really been suffering this last week or so.
feel for her, and its all she can do to get through a day. And this is the last day of term as well, so the kids will all be at home tomorrow and that in many ways makes life more difficult.
I do hope on Sunday all the teachers in the congregation - thats about half the people - don't start on how wonderful it is to be able to take some time off.
Some of us have stressful, demanding jobs to do EVERY day, with no six weeks break. I am hoping to get a few days next week, but its looking increasingly unlikely at the moment.
We hope she can hang on until at least 36 weeks, but its proving quite a challenge.
Ordered a TENS machine today, but we still dont really have a plan for the Big Day.
So many people have offered to be on standby and sit on the the rkids. But who to choose.
it's a nice problem to have I suppose.

SO much work on. Finished the two Room Folders this morning.
Southampton was a bit more difficult because we can now no longer use the Council's pictures and realised we have quite a few gaps in out own collection.
Went off to Ocean Village in the sunshine yesterday afternoon and spent a pleasant hour down there taking some of my own. And the are not too bad either - chose a good one for the cover, re-wrote a couple of bits of txt and everything is looking great.
Just page one too crackon with now.

We had a big argument earlier this week about the FYEO advert which I still don't want to be on there and represents a direction I really don't want the poster to go in.
I think there will be objections from some of the more family based venues that host for us/ And I really can't get my head around how the Council of Faith can possibly be OK with it.

But then at least one of their committee is , and I quote, "the least religious person I know."
How is that funny?

The compromise (which I am still uncomfortable with) is that I will leave the entertainment section and D can finish it off, dropping that ad in at the expense of whatever he feels we could lose.
What really pi55es me off is that I "should have said".

I DID say, more than once, when they were first approached.
Now its too late and the sale has been closed.

"I didn't know you felt that strongly about it."
"But I told you how I felt about it."
"Yes, but I didn't think it mattered that much."
"Why would I say it then?"
"You're being really silly about this. Its a ridiculous objection."

Sorry, rant over...

Shame, I think the poster had a lot of life left in it. becoming now little more than an advertising hoarding.

Kink is here again. She has brought with her a CD of her own pictures of Southampton - Mayflower Park and the Old City Walls. Some are very good. She has an artistic interpretation and an eye for good composition. We will use some in our publications.

Food time. I wonder if I have any money left?

It seems everything in the world of John Foxx fans has gone mad.
The two interviews this week have really stirred everyone up to fever pitch, especially the one on Janice Long's BBC2 show at 2am this morning. John and Louis were on for half an hour, during which they performed the first live session John has done for 21 years!!
Three songs, too, all utterly brilliant.
First off, an entirely new piece called A Million Cars from the new album sessions. Its what you'd expect - a heavy duty rock out with Louis whirling madly in the background on BVs, pianos and everything. They followed this with a new version of Plaza, which has been a work in progress since the Exotour. Performed at Scala, and set to be part of the new tour. Certainly down on the "Life from a Room as Big as a City" album.
The boys closed with a stunning version of Slow Motion from the Ultravox days. They do these so well and I'm very excited about seeing this material live.

Needless to say I have recorded the interview and the songs, made them all avaiulable individually as mp3s which people are now clamouring for! How come no-one else can do this - it really wasn't difficult! So I've been busy since I got home form work sending emails out explaining how the trading rules work - and no, I am not just sending out these tracks on a CD to anyone that asks for them!
And I wonder whether people actually LISTEN to the interviews, judging by the questions that are being asked??

Yes, the "Tiny Colour Movies" do exist. he has said so twice - AND in at leats two online interviews.
No, there are no plans for an Ultravox reunion.
No, there are no plans to release a DVD of Tiny Colour Movies.
John did suggest that he might have an installation ready for an exhibition at ICA in March 2008. How does that become interpreted as 'releasing a DVD'??
The time line is going mad so its a busy time.
Must be what its like for RH sometimes. Bet he's glad to be away from it all on a course with work.

I should be working too of course.
We have THREE jobs going to print this week. The New Forest map went today - 25000 copies. So nervous. Tomorrow its the turn of the Room Folders for NF and Southampton, and then by Friday I need to finish laying up the first anniversary edition of pageone.
It's a crazy world.

Too hot of course to be doing much at all, and I was up so late last night recording the interview (I couldn't rely on the 'Listen Again' servcie working...) that I'm knackered now.
My shed is half painted, my back lawn half edged. I'm extending it about six inches to make a new, straighter edge before we plan the planting in our new bed.
The shadow of leaves on the wall.
The cat sleeping in the evening sunshhine on the top.
An air of ambience and tranquility in the bricks.
A beautiful, beautiful job.

This morning, John was on the BBC 6music show with Phill Jupitus

Fascinating retrospective interview. John tells the story of the evolution of electronic music very well, and illustrates it with some lovely stories and anecdotes.
One particularly interesting aspect is the links that are becoming apparent between tracks like "Kurfurstendamn"('ker-dam') and "Hiroshima Mon AMour" which have a definite sonic similarity. I noticed at the weekend the same thing going on between "A Peripheral Character" from TCM and "Quiet Men" from the SOR album.
Great to hear John publicly talking about his plans to exhibit TCM and CO at the ICA early this year which means its no secret (phew...!) and he's genuinely excited to have 'done' SIX albums this year. This includes the Guthrie project, which is still far from finished.

Got a copy of the interview, so I can expand the Archive now.
Next stop, BBC 2, midnight.

Friday turned out to be a very uplifting day, but for no obvious reason.
I did lunch with Kink and she went off to the gallery, despite the disappointment when she was told Pip wasn't there after all.
But if she's confused, then I'm even more so. She seemed thoroughly pre-occupied with her new boyfriend the whole time she was here, and left straight after dinner to catch his set at the club in Northampton where he plays every Friday.
12 hours is a long time I suppose, at this stage of a relationship.

The baby has temporarily calmed down, and I even managed to persuade Tx to take a bath and have an early night. She was in bed just after eight! Then Mirfee rang, so I ended up doing beers in The Stile until well after midnight! Exactly what the doctor ordered. He's always good company. On The Walk later he laid down a challenge.
For three years now at Christmas I have put together an mp3 collection of the year's musical experiences, which I think has taken the place of a more 'traditional' Compilation ALbum. Its been more than five years since I made on of these, which is crazy when I recall them coming out of my tape recorder at least three times a year.
So I am to make up a compilation CD. Fifteen, maybe 20 songs.
Cover, sleevenotes - the lot.

Talking of which - I have at last picked up the Island re-masters officially released last Monday. I wasn't in a hurry for these,a nd didn't expect to be able to afford them. Bizarrely though, they cost only £6 each and so I found the set irresistable. They are Great albums, but with all the bootlegs and copies of this and that I have picked up over the last two years, contain nothng that I don't have already more than half a dozen times. Haven't played them yet.
But the sleevenotes are excellent, so credit to Mallins for that. Not sure that I entirely agree with his claim to the title of 'researcher' on the credits, but I imagine that helps massage the ego a bit. The notes themselves are brilliantly written and based on new interviews with John. Again suggesting that his retrospection is growing now, and he's more comfortable with his past than ever before. Rob's artwork scanning is first class and the whole thing is very well put together - although I personally have a problem with glossy paper.
Its like bling and stretch limos - looks expensive and could impress a stupid person. Actually cheap and rather tasteless.
John's got two BBC radio interviews next week. 6Music with the loathsome Phill Jupitus at Breakfast on Monday morning, and then a live session and interview (with Louis) on the Janice Long slot on Radio 2 after midnight.
Looking forward to these. Hopefully they up for 'listening again' for a few days so I can add the recordings to the Archive.
Excellent stuff.

It was during my four mile walk home (on a beautiful evening, listening to blackbirds and my own footsteps) that I felt more lifted, more up, than I have for ages. Really positive about so many things.
Just about everythng in fact.
High 'Happiness Quotient' or whatever the phrase is. Lots of things to be thankful for, many blessings to be counted.

The wall is done. Looks amazing - one of those 'dream come true' things. We have found a great builder - efficient, skillful, conscientious, friendly, polite etc . He has done so much stuff above and beyond the call in terms of finishing off. Washing line back up, patio relaid, flower bed dug over.
Unfortunately, we are not doing the finishing on the other side that I would have been happy to do. Rest of fence not fixed up to new wall and so just 'waving about'; flower bed slipping into trench for footings and lined with bits of cement and a couple of fallen bricks; pointing incomplete.
Tough really

Went to The Farm today, but traffic on the M1 delayed us by nearly an hour so it was in the end only an afternoon visit. No less inspiring tho, and M looks and acts very well indeed. Left Tx to have some time with him and took the kids out to do some barrel walking on the oil-drums in the meadow, feed carrots to the horses and kick a football around in the garden. Took the kite, but I'd forgotten the overhead cables that run right across the missle of the land!
A little annoyed with her sister who had apparently arranged to come over and see us once she learned of our plan to visit him today. They hadn't turned up by 5 so we decided to leave without seeing them as we wanted to stop off for tea on the way home.
Just got in about 8.30 and the phone rang, expressing her disappointment that we didn't stay to see them!!! It was gone 6 before they turned up - what sort of time is that 'in the afternoon'. They have threatened to come here next weekend. Always good to catch up of course, but a faff to make room for the chair and we aren't always comfortable witht he carers that come too. And now Vic is unable to walk himself, things are made doubly complicated.

Reading in church tomorrow. Just going to go over the piece now.
Matthew 6: 1-18. How to give and all that. The One With The Lord's Prayer in it.

Every day that passes tells me things are going to be OK with the wall.
very refreshing session at cell last night and everyone was very supportive.
We talked about the empty Godlessness of some people, and how insecurity and unhappiness can be the cause of this kind of aggressive display.
of course, the wall instelf is not the problem, but it has given blokey an opportunity to sound off and ultimately express his own personal issues and insecurities.
maybe?
Trouble with me is that, should it all just now blow away and come to nothing, I have a temptation to take him to task over writing the letter in the first place!
As if that will help...

Kink arrived on schedule last night and its really good to see her again. really growing up fast now - this job has been the making of her.
Adult company, financial independence, driving etc. She i talking about starting to look for her own flat somewhere, which is a major step. She is oozing with confidence now and ideas that have more sustainanbility - less 'pie in the sky' than a year ago.
She is beginning to come out from under her mother's shadow I think, and this can only be a good thing. Seems to worry less about the responsibility she has taken for her mum in the past and throwing off the nerves and the worry that went with that. As Biscuit comes of age next year too that is surely helping. She is proving more self reliant and confident than ever, which also takes a bit of pressure off.
Kink and I meet as grown ups all of a sudden, and we're getting togtehr for lunch today. Still nervy and confused about her sexuality, and childishly excited at the prospect of working with this girl Pip again this afternoon.

Mum rang me herself at 8 this morning.
Apparently its all a 'big fuss over nothing' and she feels fine now!
Its quite obviously not, but I'm glad she's home and in this kind of mood really.

Kink is coming down tonight to do a shift at the Art Gallery tomorrow. I'll be out at cell when she gets here but Tx has agreed to wait up. Hopefully it shouldn't be much after 9 anyway.

Spent most of the day shuffling things round in the office to make room for our super sexy new A1 poster printer. Managed to get changed from £1000 in the end which means that if we can only run pageone™through it for two issues we make most of the money back. It's a fantastic addition to our resources actually and should prove a great asset.

Someone outside is barbecuing...???
(I'm writing this from the office)

Met up with Leo for lunch today, getting all excited about the Brighton gig. Tickets arrived this morning and dutifully scanned for the archive.
She spent a whole two hours ranting about the unfairness of everything having just split up with a boyfriend of 8 years. Sounds like a complete nightmare, especially as she is still living in the house until they can make some other arrangements between them. Hopefully, this doesn't mess up our plans or put a silly twist on it.

Cogs are beginning to turn. Pieces being slowly shifted around and re-assembled where they need to be.
Trx has been having contractions every ten minutes all afternoon and is starting ot move into gear. Hoping of course that it calms down again as we have another five or six weeks to go, but these signs are a very good indicator that its time we started 'rolling the ball'.
Her bag is packed (!!!) and tonight I have been on a mission round the neighbourhood collecting 'things':
A sling, which we bought for Flo that has done our four and been loaned to various other people for six months at a time in between each of them. Theo has now outgrown it so we can have it back to carry ours around in.
A beautiful wicker Moses basket that is about to carry its tenth baby. Brand new linen brought for it by the present incumbent and it becomes our turn.
Nappies is another great one.
We've always done the Cottom Bottoms laundry thing and have over the last ten years accumulate a stockpile of nappies of all different sizes. Half a dozen other folks have contributed to this, replacing old with new at approriate times. I've today picked up 30 first size again from Theo and just delivered 40 of the biggest to someone else that we've had saved up since LC gave it up before Christmas.
The clothes mountain will be next to take its palce in the line.
I have toyed with the idea this time round of buying a brand new 'travel system' for baby (around £300??) which I can justify because I know it will go on to serve at least half a dozen other families on the circuit over the next five years or so. Tis a fine system, and great to be part of.
Mind you, what was supposed to take me an hour (three visits) ended up taking nearly three because, of course, I had to stop for coffee/beer/wine/cake/Shreddies at the various addresses. And admire children's artwork, help carry a computer upstairs, borrow a CD...

This was after spending the previous hour and a half on the phone.
Mum is in in hospital, and by the sound of it quite ill.
Guessed something was wrong when Dad rang just after seven. What is with Dad's of that generation? He NEVER rings.
Seems she has spent two days with serious pains in her chest/stomach and went to the GP this morning about it. But on the way turned 'a funny colour' and started to be sick in the car.
They get to the surgery and she's feeling worse, and my worried dad went into the surgery asking for immediate assistance.
Arriving back at the car with a nurse, they find Mum completely unconscious and hardly breathing. Worse - she had to be zapped back into life with those awful paddle-electro-thingies.
Thankfully she was at the best place, and rushed into hospital by ambulance with tubes sticking out of her arm/chest/nose/tummy and is now talkign and looking vaguely human.
Turns out - thanks Dad at last for telling me - this is the third time she's passed out in the last two years. By far the worst, but something is not right somewhere. Its no doubt an imbalance in her ongoing medication for Addison's and now diabetes.
He has promised to ring me tomorrow morning once he's been to visit her.

Here, then, is the new perspective.

Jesus, be the centre
Be my path
Lord, be my guide
Jesus, be the centre
Be my source
Lord, be my light

Jesus, be my vision
Be my hope
Lord, be my song

Blokey came round this afternoon to have a chat with the builder.
Is he actually avoiding me?
"I'm going to have to go to the Land Registry now. Half this path is on my land."
Builder man made three good points. Not to him, but reporting this to us before he went home.
One - he obviously hadn't been to the Land Registry BEFORE he wrote the letter to us. And as if its some big, scary threatening place? Anyone can go anytime and look up their house deeds. Doesn't he have a copy?
A plan at 1:1250 scale shows the house and garden to be about 10mm squrre, drawn around with a felt tip. The little dip in the line where his 'boundary' joins our house is just under a millimetre on our plan. Do the maths. 0.5mm x 1250mm = 625cm. What's that, 2feet? At least.
TwoIts now only half the wall that's on his land. It was 'the wall' when he wrote the letter. I think shifting argument like this weakens position? But I'm not a psychologist.
ThreeAs that boundary is his responsibility (his dad's) then it stands to reason some of it is on his land.
I wish this silly nuisance would just go away.
I really can't be bothered to deal with it now.
Like I said before, its such trivia.
I hesitate to say 'get a life' because I can understand his point and it is just the way some people are. But really - how much does this all actually matter.

Another interview with Foxx has appeared online, this time at the very wonderful ballardian.com in which he discusses at length the influence of the great author on his work.
I'm particularly pleased to see the host, Simon Sellars, suggesting that Foxx might actually BE Arnold Weiss bryant, the collector of the Tiny Colour MOvies that inspired the music. This is something that came to me a weeksor three ago.
Urban drift. Walking through Cities. Burnt patches on pavements. In the same way that we all from time to time inhabit other people, put on their clothing, assume their mannerisms, adopt their phrases and speech patterns.
As he submits to these psychic entry points, Foxx becomes this other man.
Weiss Bryant is to Foxx what Foxx is to Dennis Leigh. A way of doing something else and exploring other places. For now it is film. Images that dissolve into each other. Flashbacks.
Skyscraper shadows on a carcrash overpass.
All the traits of the condensed novels in the Atrocity Exhibition.

It makes so much sense, and how refrshing to be able to discuss this with someone else who knows what they are talking about. Nether Simon, nor Adam at beatmag or Mark at k-punk are figures at the forum yet they all have a deeper understanding of John's ideas than anyone there.
I was shouted down when I hinted about the parallels between the obsessions and aesthetics of Frank Watts, Alan Marker, Jerry Golden, Ernst Lubin and our own Mr Foxx.

Pretnetious indeed, but as has been argued before, that doesn't automatically define something as rubbish.

Spoke to RH tonight from his hotel room in Warwick.
Lost and Lonely. he's done some updates tho.
the pictures of John from Hurrah in 1979 are superb. One especially when he seems to have "drifted off too far" - a vision of detachment. Almost vacant.

Three more albums in the collection this week (I'm so bad when I get cash in my pocket)

Throbbing Gristle - Second Annual Report.
Typical. Impossible. Totally absorbing. Painful.
As irrelevant now as it was 30 years ago. Still out of place, and that's a serious achievement.
Tom Waits The Big Time
Clever. Silly. Heard it at Mark's last Thursday for the first time in years. Like Beefheart, a misunderstood genius. Mad as a fish
The BeatlesRevolver.
I know. But at only £3 I now have it on remastered CD.
Undoubtedly one of the best albums EVER written.
When Tomorrow Comes. Eleanor Rigby. And Your Bird Can SIng. How far ahead of 'your time' is it possible to be?

Two sides of the wall are now finished and it looks fantastic.
We've sent off our letter to thingy and are much less worried than a week or so ago.
Someone pointed out to us just today that, as the boundary just there is in fact the responsibility of our nieghbour, then it stands to reason that it should be on his land.
Which it isn't.
Not without permission anyway.
The greyness of areas...

How wide exactly is a boundary line between two properties?

I have so much other stuff going on.
Not forgetting of course that this is week 32 and the baby will be with us on August 18th. That's the date Trx has booked on the calendar. We still haven't agreed on a name.
Too much choice.
I am still perfectly happy with Dorothy Grace, at least until she threw 'Nora' into the pot on Sunday. I like this very much too.
And Minnie. And Betty. And Faith. Myrtle. Martha...

Here's a thing.
getting into bed Saturday night I remembered I have just finished reading the Numan biog. SO what to read. It is at these times that I usually reach for the Bible. Downstairs.
Instead I picked up Eddie Askew's book "A Silence and a Shouting".
In bed, this literally falls open at a piece inspired by St. Paul's letter to the Romans (12:1-10)

...but often conflict is not a question of absolutes but of perspectives, of learning to see things the way someone else sees them,and sitting where he sits. Inviting him to sit with you and accepting the fact that one another may have something valid to say.

Askew follows his monologues with a prayer, and I felt inspired to read this out in testimony Time during the Sunday Service:-

Conflict.
Fear.
Anger.
So often, Lord, so often.
It is only a small thing,
But it looks so large from where I see it,
And it frightens me
And I'm frightened by my reaction to it.
Lord yours is
A beautiful world
Full of beautiful people
Yet somehow this image gets distorted
Out of perspective
Problems get magnified, exaggerated
Suspicion replaces trust
Secrecy replaces openness
Jealous appears in place of appreciation
And anger where love should be

As I pray this for myself Lord,
I pray for other sinvolved in disputes
With family, friends or neighbours
Those who make decisions and try to make peace
Give them all understanding Lord of others' viewpoints
Not to make them unsure and indecisive
But so that decisons can be reached from understanding
From the ability to see the whole picture
And not just one detail in a magnifying lens
Give them the wisdom to concentrate on the essential
And above all Lord
Give us all loving kindness in our judgements

I have so much to learn.
Struck me though, that I should be shown this passage at this time.

It's really annoying how much time and effort we have wasted over the past few days responding to that stupid letter.
It's creeping into my head at every opportunity and upsetting the whole mood of not only the project but of days in general at the moment.
The best antidote of course is being with the kids who care not for such trivia.
That's what it is of course, in the greater scheme of things.

Trx psychology training has helped.
Mr M jnr didn't come round here shouting the odds.
He stuck a letter thru the door overnight. The typical cowardly behaviour of a school bully. He has demanded that we do things on his say so immediately. He also demands that we don't mention this to his father, who may therefore not even know that he has written to us.
A similar thing happened four years ago when he had the loft built.
He got upset because the fence panels we took down (with his dad's permission) were not replaced with a whole shiny new fence. Rather, the old ones were put back in almost as badly as they were in the first place.
He wrote a shitty letter to our builder. Nothing further happened.
Looking through the deeds tonight, we discovered that he claimed a right of way down the side of our garden out into our street way back in 1992 but there is a note in the file that "no further reference was made" when the deeds were handed to us in 96.

But I have been really crap about it today.
Scared, if I'm honest.
My non-confrontational personality is in turmoil over this.
Get a grip

I lift my eyes up
To the mountain
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from you
Maker of Heaven
Creator of the earth

Easy to say of course.
We have to deal with this, and Trx is a lot stronger than me. Tonight we have drafted a third letter in response to the complaint. My attempts have been too aggressive or too verbose.
We've come up with an approach that will hopefully be effective.

We are defending the building line of the wall. The inside of it at least follows the line of our patio which previiously extended abut a foot into the neighbours garden. He probably didn't know this, so overgrown is the border. The outside garden to about 6 feet in from any fencing that exists is brambles, ivy and shit.
The northern external wall of our house should not be the defining edge of his garden. The damp in our hallway and need to have the wall repointed a year or three ago is because this rampant vegetation grows up the outside wall of our house. There should be a fence to seperate 'us' from 'them'.
We also mention that the house owner, his dad, is a personal friend and we've done loads of work for him in the past. Mentioned security, aesthetics and hinted at the financial benefit (re future property value) on having a walled garden.
Also went for the Power of Attorney bit not being relevant when the old man has already decided and is perfectly happy to chat to us about it.
And we have invited him round to talk to us about it!

Trx added this clever touch.
It suggests that we are together on this, and that we are so confident and comfortable in our position that we can discuss it personally.

Past history suggests that he won't follow it up and is really just posturing.
No-one round here likes the man. But that isn't the point.

It's all very uncomfortable and disappointing.
I'm so NOT into playing these games.
We've kept a lot of cards back should we need them.

A financial contribution to the wall?
Access to our garage should be cleared.
The claim about a right of way he made in 92
The state of the rest of the fencing.
Why is the line of the wall actaully a problem.
Cos its on my fathers property
Yes, but why is that a problem?

We suspect the same line will be repeated louder and over.
Suggesting a very shallow argument.
The whole picture is so much bigger...

Be bold
Be strong
For the Lord your God is with you