One of my favourite blogs is that of guitarist Robin Guthrie - currently enjoying a week recording some music with Harold Budd in San Francisco!!

now that's what I call… quite good.

Can't wait to hear the results of that - just hope it gets it released.
Apparently there is an album with Foxx done and staning in a cupboard on tape somewhere.
He writes well though, with real candour and is an inspiration to me in that respect - as well as being a GENIUS with a guitar.

It took two bottles of Amé, loads of toast and talking until after midnight last night to sort things out, but the tide has turned now and things are much better.
MUCH better in fact than they have been for a long time.
If we can follow through and stick to some of the agreements we came to, then the period ahead of us should be free of these silly misundersatndings, apprehensions, confused obligations.
In my emotionally constipated state I find it very difficult to express negativities and always assume they will be taken the wrong way - so I never manage to say anything and things get slowly more and more out of perspective.
Of course I didn't get the reaction I expected and she just cried with relief, then went on to say how she has been wanting to say the same thing for 'ages' but didn't for similar, even more fanciful reasons!
We generally do feel the same way about a lot of things and it's unusual for us to get this detached from one another.
Strangely, 'the bedroom' is probably the one area that this often happens in.

But as Biddulph puts it, you need to be in control of your sexuality and sexual relationship, otherwise it will control you. Most people, he suggests (especially men) are not. I have realised for a long time that I am not, but last night was the first time I was able to say that and get it talked about.
We laughed about how silly we are.
Our confusion and misplaced overinflated-respect for each other has led to each feeling obliged to make love despite misgivings, tiredness, expectancy (no pun intended) etc etc.

This was REALLY hard to say. feels uncomfortable writing it now, but hey.
Honesty has to come from within.
You don't have to read this rubbish…

So we have both been doing something we don't really want to do and often don't feel too great about afterwards.
Most times its great but too often it isn't.
We do to with and for each other as we know we like. It's a routine that we haven't questioned until now for ages.

And we laughed. That's the best part about the whole thing.
We cried too - and nearly shouted.
But then we laughed.

She's been poking me all day. Throwing sand.
Making me cups of tea I haven't asked for.
We've disagreed about stuff. Feels great

Just hope and pray I have the strength to face the demon when I meet him next.
Likely as not won't be far away.

Tx went out with Flo this morning to a n NCT clothes sale and added more stuff to the St Denys Mountain that surrounds me in the loft - not just baby things, but great trousers for the oldest ones and some new PJs for Stan.
I stayed with the others in the garden and even - shock, horror - had all three of them playing separately around the house! That NEVER happens.
Ali in the loft with her Barbie's, Stan palying with his cars in the sand pit and LC doing puzzles in the lounge.
Then we all got together for the last Easter Egg and a game of 'pairs'. Stan is exceptionally good at this and won both games.
His memory for where the cards are seems to be much better than mine.
A bit of cleaning, trimming, hoovering - usual Satday stuff.

Made a simple but very effective cheese omelette for luch with a mushroom, tomato and pesto salad served in pitta bread.

Went out by myself with Ali in the afternoon to buy some new school shoes.
Took in tea an dnaughty cakes at Millie's to extend the one-to-one dad time by an hour, including a trip to pick up recycling at the office.

Pizza and Pancakes for tea.
Round food.

12 pancakes took me an HOUR to cook, but they went down a bundle.
In fact, a good food day all round.

Well, for good, read - everything eaten.

Now she's sleeping and I'm writing.
Bed together seemed the obvious thing to do, but I jsut can't be ready for bed at 8.30. And I've given up with The Age of reason mainly because I forgot I'm going to see Numan on Wednesday and can't make the Reading Group.
Am I bovvered??

It is becoming a habit now to find comfort, inspiration and strength in one or two favoured albums - and again this evening I am drawn to play Heart On Snow. Amazingly, Trx likes this album too so we were able for the first time in a million years sit together reading and listening to the same piece of music.
There is a track Always and Everywhere which has a really clever little melody in the background, just a few repeated rising notes and a soft bassline that breathes in the background.
I explained my theories about remixing and how isolated I feel in my position of liking what I have heard of John's work that has been remixed. Almond less so, but he tends to sing on other peoples DJ stuff, which I find irritating and crap.
Listening to Metamatics last night, I was reminded of a bassline on there (I think the track is Saint Ever that is not unlike parts of Always and Everywhere . What I'd like to do is remix somethng by stripping it down, not working it up.
Taking the vocal out fAlways and Everywhere and hearing just the music. Then working that up with some bleeps and whistles, a mix of drum and bass - and then overdubbing the vocal back in. Or very distantly in the back ground.
I absolutely adore the first track on the album, with the Naval Choir of St Petersburg. The Russian militray backing works really well, and again suggests to me I should look for more of this stuff.
Cathedral Oceans has its roots in liturgical hymns and medieval chant.

I think this is my starting point:

or at least somethng similar. I know so little about it I am bound to shoot in the dark for a while. At the same time I am going to purchase MindMushingGit.

Trouble is, where on Earth I am I going to find this music without resorting to buying online...And its £50 dollars for that 4disc pack.
Must do some rummaging around. It's not as if I could ask anyone for a loan.

Funnily enough - and this DOES impress me – those discs are released on the 'Harmonia Mundi' label!!
It's amazing stuff. Don't tell me there's no link here. i KNOW what I'm talking about.

This year's compilation could be very interesting.

So long the path
So hard the journey…

Moods pass. A walk to work is a good solution.
Mustn't forget tho - being late home from work tonight wouldn't be very clever.
Everything is slowly drifting back into focus, but the atmosphere at home for the last couple of days isn't something I want to generate again in a hurry.

Not quite sure why I'm writing just now. Felt I wanted to update but haven't much to say.
Last night I was awake until 2am - listening to music.
Lying in bed not sleeping scares me.
Sat on the back step with my friend Jack.
The door open looking out at the night.
Confused the cat.

A great opportunity to clear my head, and for a change I found exactly the right album to do it.
3 Jak and Dive by Metamatics. Beautiful melodies and such clever, complicated tunes.
It reminded me of those times on Scilly, walking around in the woodland surounded by warblers and sounds. Every so often you pick up the distant call of a Parula, which you know is in there somewhere. Ears straining - there it is again. Faintly, just tickling the back of my right ear.
Sounds come and go all the time, but you are always listening for that exciting but familar melody that might return - might not.
In places, the album is like trying to listen to three different songs at the same time and gave me an idea.
Can I put CO on through iTunes and then stream some drum and bass beats over it maybeusing GarageBand?

Looked in HMV and Virgin today but couldn't find anymore of his albums anywhere.
Did get a very exciting email from him a day or three ago tho, when I realised, for the first time, that 4am on Spectre canal (as remixxed by Foxx) is THE SAME SONG as Trinity's Ghost which appeared on the B side of the Free Robot12".
No-one at the forum can confirm this as it appears no-one is interested in remixes. They're all far too busy getting excited about the imminent or not release of the new album.
This is now put back until at least 26 May as the artwork isn't finished, tho the seller (Fulfill) on ebay is still promising pre-orders will be delivered on 10th.
It is going to be well worth the wait I think and promises to be a classic - John's first solo electronic album for 20 years, and made up of filmic instrumental pieces in the style of Glimmerand film One

Wrote a ton more stuff last night, and have almost moved into 1981.
Found a superb essay on the development of post-punk electronic music in Europe which gives lots of ideas and useful theories to pad out the work I am beginning to get quite attached to.

Trx has taken LC back to the hospital for a routine assessment. She is Still well below the 5th centile for her age, and the doctor is still 'a little concerned' that she is just so small. Completely ridiculous, when he himself was impressed with her speech development and her potty-trained -in-a-week experience.
She's funny now, and has got the idea of the toilet already too. SO proud of herself!
We have decided that we won't be going back for any mor eof these checks. She's just little.
My parents are both only just 5', and my Nan never got over about 6 stone in her life.
Let's here it for little people!

Not so Stan of course. He's the Incredible Eating Machine - but only as far as pasta and pies are concerned. He would still rather not eat anything green (except apples and peppers). Just packs it into muscle development I think - he's much heavier than Alice! – and so becomes more like his Uncle Dave every day.

Which reminds me. Is it this weekend we're going up to the farm? I know D's gone away now until the end of June and there's a ton of paperwork to do.

Two sandwich terns and a whitethroat on the river this morning.

I wish sex would go away and leave me alone.
It just complicates everything and makes me feel rubbish.

Waterloo Arms. Lyndhurst. Verry nice.
Our turn to pay.
The more I meet this man, the more I like him and feel that his respect for us is genuine.
I have suspected for a while that there is a hidden agenda, but it's clearer now, and I'm happy with the way things are looking.
By Tuesday we will know how our proposal to run NFTA has been received by the people that need to make the decision. If it works in our favour I have no problem working with himover the next five years.
Got him talking about music again today, which is always a good move. He reminisced at great length about the festivals at the end of the 60s, seeing "The Floyd" in Bath in 1968, and the first Shepton Mallet thing in what, 69? But his anecdotes of the infamous Hendrix IOW gig in 1970 are good to hear over a pint and a cigar.
We even discussed the cover of Highway 61 Revisited at great length - which explains why I felt compelled to pick up that album in the first place.
I love signs like that. All points also to a good relationship ahead with one of our most significant clients.

HV Guide proofs on my desk when I got back, and looking fabulous!
Such a relief to see a project get to this stage. I always get so bogged down in the detail I can't see the wood for the trees, and its good to take a step back and feel proud of something.
Colours balance well - photos are crispy. Content is weak in places, but its more important that we publish something that is professional, shiny and competent at this first edition stage. Other ppl will be encouraged now that our takeover has worked so far...

Things people Never Say, No. 145
We had an inspiring AGM at the church last night. All the right people got elected to the PCC and the new churchwardens are fab. Chateau St denys 2005 is a good wine and the conversation afterwards flowed well. Picked up a bag of clothes for Flo,and some new curtains.
Our vicar is a truly inspring speaker and I could listen to him for hours.

Keep your eyes on Jesus
Who began and has finished the race we are in Hebrews 12:2

Our verse for this year.
Let us not become building-focused (guilty as charged...) or personality focused (you know who you are...) but let Jesus be the centre. One of my favourite songs too.

I prayed last night and this morning for some help with the office cashflow as the account has gone below a grand and we can't pay Jo or ourselves if things stay like that. Its a nightmare at the moment.
There was nothing in the post this morning and D and I had a chat about the state of things. We SHOULD be doing really well but we are owed so much.
While looking at the accounts, he noticed a mistake. I have put about £2K in the wrong place - still not used to the MYOB system - so actually things are not as bad as they seem.
And then someone from one of the restaurants turned up to give us £500 they owed from last year. Bastards.

Thank you, Lord, for an unexpected solution.

Had to wander past Virgin again today, which is fatal with a nice, crispy £20 in my pocket.
The mega-sale (much albums at £3.99) is very UNadvertised, but they have some excellent stuff in there. OK so I have all the Foxx and Almond albums - quite sad to see them in the bargain bin! - but I picked up four nice little bargains:

TelevisionMarquee Moon
The The Mind Bomb
NicoNico
The ClashGive Em Enough Rope
The BuzzcocksNever Mind The Buzzcocks

Saturday afternoon I went along with CR and two others from the church to take 18 of the kids bowling.
Talk about a "challenge"! The others are all teachers, and I can see why I'm not. It was a real test of patience - not just the kids, who weren't too bad now I look back on it, but the staff too, and the whole environment which is totally alien to me and made me feel quite uncomfortable. Why are people SO rude?
We ordered 18 meals - just burgers or fish fingers and 'fries' - and when it (eventually) came there were only 17.

Rant The First

I could NOT persuade the girl behind the counter of the mistake - she just would not believe me and just kept repeating that she "put the right number on the traaay".
So I had to pay for an extra meal. Do people try that kind of thing on all the time??.

TV on monitors when the lane is not being used?
No lights, other than flashing neon?
Music very loud that ISN"T the same as the MTV on the monitors???

As far as I can see, the whole place is just a money pit.
But I ENJOY bowling - which is ironic.
Why can't there be somewhere I can go to just do bowling,
without all the other shit?

There we go. Better now.

I should have just stayed with Stan at the birthday party i dropped him off at on the other side of the city before "rolling" as LC insists on calling it.
We were SO late back - the second round game after the meal was a mistake. The kids were too tired by then, and so pumped full of chocolate and crap they couldn't settle.

Rant The Second
While I'm out with the kids, Trx goes over to the hospital for a midwife appointment.
The NHS carparks (which I believe are now sub-contracted out to Anonymous.com?) made £1.2 million last year.
She has to use a £10 to pay the £3.60 for carparking (for two hours???) and the machine spits out incorrect change. £1 short.
Walks over to the reception to explain, to be told that it is "nothing to do with us".
"Call this number madam, if you have a problem"
Being as pedantic as me, she did.
"OK. Sorry about that madam. If you come to... I can sort out a receipt for you."
A little office somewhere round the back.
A receipt is issued.
"Oh no. Sorry love, I can't give you the cash.
If you take this to… they will sort it out."
Office on the seventh floor. She's pregnant, remember.
Having got this far, decides to follow it thru.
Finds the office - hands over the receipt. Gets a shiny £1 coin.
result.

But how many people
a) don't count the change from the machine? or
b) can be bothered to go thru this palaver to get any money back??

At least they actually believed her. Maybe it happens all the time.
If the machine short changes a percentage of every note over a certain size they would make a fortune. £1.2 million, even?
And its a private company.
People will of course assume their money goes to the NHS...

Rant The Third
Then at 10.30, just as we put the cats out, Trx noticed a strong smell of gas in the front garden. Same at the back, so we called the Transco emergency line.

Phone number, address, description etc.
Some "important safety advice"…
"Thank you sir. One of our engineers will be there within an hour"

TWO hours later no-one had come.
We went to bed.
An hour after that we fell asleep. Lights on, everything…

No note thru the door or anything in the morning, so I rang the line again at 8.00.
This time they explained that there had been over 500 calls relating to what turned out to be a mysterious gas cloud passing over the city, presumably from Fawley, and there was nothing they could do but the situation was being carefully monitored.

BUT THEY TOOK MY PHONE NUMBER???
Why did no-one ring back to explain this at the time?

"We take your phone number for security reasons, sir"
"In case I'm a hoaxer?"
"Well… I'm sure that's not the case sir, but it does protect us from that circumstance."
"SO why could no-one use it to ring me back, once it became apparent that this was a more general problem. So I didn't wait up, and then lie awake half the night.?"
"I'm really sorry about that. I'm afraid we're not in a position to make return calls"
"So why take my number."
"For security reasons..."
etc

We had a better day Sunday though :-)

It's been the maddest week in the office with everyone out setting up the displays and stands at the cruise terminals, leaving me in the office to organise deleiveries and do everything else.
I'm in now, Friday evening, putting the finishing touches to the Hamble Valley Vis Guide.
It WILL go to print on Monday.

I have brought in exactly the right album - for a change.
Highway 61 Revisited absolutely rocks.
I'm not a big Dylan fan, but hold this in the same high regard as I have for the earliest Stones albums.
Genius songwriting.

"and you know there's something going on here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones..."

Kettle's on - all is good.
Productive environment here in the evenings

First day back in the office wasn't as frustrating as I expected.
Although of course nothing I have been working on has moved forward...
The sales campaign for posters and leafelt dispensers in the three cruise terminals is progressing very well. It's easy to sell a brilliant idea.
What worries me is our lack of experience in this area and I'm not sure how well we are geared up to pulling it off.
The libraries have come on board for page one™ and a couple more hotels want copies. We are also now going to me a distributor for much of the publicity for the summer's Jools Holland and UB40 gigs on The Common. A ticket to Jools Holland would be good...
Haslam's Bath and Oxford publications have been badly folded at the printers and he is blaming me for the front cover image not being centred on the page.
Need to make sure the Shopping and Restaurant guide is absolutely cock on so that there is no come back on us.
This week:
Hamble Visitor guide 48pp x 25,000 copies to print
Aviva Challenge Ocean Village Exhibition plan
Bus stop monitoring areas
City Council 2006 Local plan A1 x 1000 copies double sided
Bath Shopping Guide

And now I have 10,000 New Forest Vis Guides turning up in an hour.
Good thing I'm here on my own today...

What am I listening to right now?
Metamatics "3 Jak and Dive"
Kraftwerk "radio Activity"

The Jerusalem variation

Mum has said before that she worries if things are quiet with 'her', and I'm wondering now if this prophesy is in danger of coming true again.
I am (or thought I was!) certain that things will turn out OK, but past experiences can't help poking me in the ribs and demanding consideration.
JJ has had her son David visiting for the first time since he went to live with his dad, I don't know maybe 10 years ago. He's probably 14 by now?
Up until now, she's had only supervised access for a few hours maybe twice a year and has recently been able to take the girls with her to Wales to visit their brother. In a hotel somewhere, with social workers and 'other officials' present.
I know nothing of the background to this three-day stay or how it came about - except that Biscuit was excited and surprised about it when she came down. And maybe nervous too? This might explain something of her mood…
He stayed at the house with no supervision etc from Friday until Monday (Kink has just explained this to me on the phone) and she has taken him back to a rendezvous with a social work and David's dad in Bath.
Or at least she should have taken him back.
She is being massively trusted by the authorities here and shown a great deal of confidence and trust - I do hope she hasn't blown it.
The girls had a phone call about 5 o'clock asking where she was because she hadn't arrived - despite leaving home just after 12.
To make things worse for them she hasn't replied to txt messages or phonecalls.
Until 7, when she rang to say she was there.
I got the impression from K that she wasn't entirely comfortable that her mum was where she said she was. She's obviously worried.
It would be so, so, so STUPID to mess this up. She is trying to build a case for more regular and unsupervised access and visits like this more often.

I wish of course that she would just accept that her son lives with his dad now and work upwards from there. But she is still bitter and resentful of the decision to grant him custody and deny her access. It sounds harsh, but the decision was right.
At the time - and of course her behaviour since proved it - she couldn't have coped and wasn't fit etc etc.
Been here so often before.

There's the phone…

10am Itchen Valley.
The birdsong of children. Blackcaps and Robins. Great tit, Sparrowhawk, Nuthatch. Willow Warbler, chaffinch. Whitethroat. Many, many birds.
Teach-er, teach-er, teach-er. A couple of nurses and some office staff. Few people, but none of any interest. Some are Polish - they are everywhere these days. Perhaps we have them instead of House Martins this year??
There's another birder here, with his kids. Leaning on the fence watching a buzzard.
Six buzzards.
No five. What's that then? Smaller.
Flying different I think? Big though.
Goshawk? Could be!!!
Bit too far away to tell.
Where's a park warden when you need one?
Handful of Swallows too. So it is Spring after all.

Then down to the Barn to start the Easter Egg trail through the woods. Same old same old, but the kids love it and they will walk a long way looking for the clues.
Now there are crowds. Very popular event.
Primroses in abundance, and tits everywhere. Treecreeper right beside the path. celandines, anenomes. There will be bluebells soon.
And a parking ticket! twenty minutes over the time I paid for. Not bad when four kids needed the loo once we'd finished the trail and we had to go back to the barn.
The attendant was there, besdie the car, but it was too late.
She was very good about it, made a note that we had spoken and advised me to submit a written appeal.
Must be worth it to save £30...

More spring cleaning. New nets up. Beds pulled out and hoovered under. Amazing how bad that gets under there. And then an hour or so replacing the cistern in the outside toilet.
I saved one from a skip when Old Bailey died (August??) but haven't had the inclination to fit it until ran out of other jobs this afternoon.
Water everywhere. I am SO bad at DIY. But it's done, and it works.
Hurrah for me!
She's irresistable in these urgent, busy "nest building moods".
All of sudden, overcome with waves of enthusiasm and energy.
Could see it coming last night, with Gill and Mick. Talking more than listening, which is refreshing and unusual for her. Buzzing.
They were great too and we got on well.
His music taste doesn't quite line up with mine, but he knows his stuff and is very into what he likes. Going to see the Weddoes together at the Joiners in a couple of weeks - a gig MM had already lined up for me. If I can get Ian along as well it should be a good night out. I've seen them twice before, but not for years. The last two albums, especially Bizarro were disappointing.
Very late though - Didn't get to bed until after midnight which for Trx is a record for this year.
Flo picked us up for not washing up or clearing away, so she couldn't set breakfast this morning...

We are having a fantatstic weekend - just half an hour now to write this and catch up with stuff before starting to cook dinner for our friends arriving at eight.
Trx is in the shower and dressing, and I've just got the kids off to bed. Early (7pm) but they are knackered form yesterday and all ready for an early night.

Holwell yesterday was the perfest antidote to the tension of the last couple of days. Mervyn's 80th birthday. D and K were there, looking well and happy together, with their dog George, a fabulous labrador who is really good natured and had a great time rolling around all afternoon with the kids in the meadow. G and V came over too, with their son's (Trx cousins) fresh back from a week's skiing at Whistler.
It was great to see the old man on such good form, and the bench we bought him went down a storm. he was delighted with it and quite obviously had a good day.
Everyone is very aware that we must take these now while we can and there may not be many more - but who can tell?
It was after ten by the time we got home, and on the doormat was our first ever Easter card from my parents.
Not entirely sure what that is all about.
They're away in the caravan this weekend so I won't be able to ask her about it for a few days.
Is it just an acknowledgement of our moving forward in faith, or a gesture that she is reaching out for guidance in a similar direction??

Either way, the service this morning put everything into place and convinced me so much that this is absolutely the right path to take and the right thing to do.
Got there for 9.30 and helped blow up the balloons on a helium thingy, then set out tea and coffee at the back to serve afterwards. Got half an hour in the kitchen again with * and re-commenced the War Games we started a few weeks ago. She really could be quite a challenge, I think, if everything else wasn't hanging together nicely at the moment...
We work well together doing refreshments and her spirit lifts mine.
Harvard is worthy of her. Double first in classics at Oxbridge. Smarty pants.
Hey ho.
Focus.

There were nearly 80 people in the church by the time 11.00 came,a nd the vicar was himself on top form. He';s been with us 6 years and this is his first service in the old building too. We have some logistics to iron out and a few things didn't work (mainly sound levels and length of communion) but I haven't been so moved by a service for a long time.
Sat for half an hour with KR and two others later, in peace, restful prayer and reflection.
More than ever now I feel Him calling me in this direction.
I am where I am meant to be, of that there is no question, and everything seems moving well. Prayers have been answered and peace restored.
A resurrection indeed, in every sense.

I need to cook now.
Mushroom pilau with wild rice and asparagus.
Yummy

I have never met Trx friend's husband who comes tonight.
But he is a muso, and went to Goldfrapp recently.
Has teenager daughters too, and is a 'lapsed' but confirmed catholic.
Should be an interesting evening

Fascinating chat as usual with Mrs X just now.
She's great for bouncing all things Foxxian against and tells it like it is when I expound theories and ideas about the man and his music that I'm trying to get down in words.
Struggling with the whole "sound" thing at the moment, and examining John's argument that electronic music is like the blues.
It's true - there is much evidence in his stuff (particualrly Metamatic and Crash and Burn of an ingrained dub influence. The heavy, massive bass lines. The elements of other sounds, the reverb and echo.
There's the birdsong in Just For A Moment of course, and the reggae hook of Dangerous Rhythm, Touch and Go and She Robot
It's not rubbish. And so it's no coincidence that Ultravox signed to Island. Home of Lee Perry. Bob Marley. Third World.
The whole punk thing was very much a product of London at the time - it came almost from nowhere and burned itself out just as quickly. It wasn't going anywhere. Foxx wrote "I Won't Play Your Game" to describe his frustartion with the culture of aggression and lads leaping around in mindless violent gangs with theirt mates. Punk was the sound of the crowd. And the sound of London.
In the north of England, lonely individuals in grey council estates were isolated, detached young men without a peer group. Lost and detached. They identified instead with the darker, montonous tones of the synthesizer, the alienation of electronic music suited loners. Ian Curtis. Genesis P.Orridge.
Electronic music was less reactionary than punk. It had roots.
And there's the word I was looking for. Roots.
Ska and dub. Experimental music. Using the studio as another instrument. Putting bits of this and bits of that into a machine. Huge basslines. Birdsong.
Cathedral Oceans is really not a million miles from Metamatic at all.
Metanym.
And thus back to Glimmer

I'll rewrite this waffle, but I can see my thread shining through now.

Click, click, drone…

Things have deteriorated over the last couple of days which has rather spoiled the atmosphere of what is usually a very uplifting day.
We have deliberately not done a lot with the kids, and I think that's maybe what has backfired a bit on us this afternoon.
The weather's been very unpredictable, which really hasn't helped.
They've all been restless - LC and Alice especially have driven us both mad!
Thye won't settle to anything. Ask to do some colouring and make some masks, so I got all the things out of the doing box, set them up and cut out a few bits and pieces. Flo came into help once she'd finished whatever she'd been up to in the garden and then I went outside to do a few things myself. Within ten minutes they had all followed me back out!
A bit later I went out the front to clean, hoover and empty out the car which is usually somehting they have fun joining in with. But they all wanted to do the same job and I found it hard to give them all things to do - everyone got a bit oversensitive and started over-reacting. So we had the garage open and the bikes out. It suddenly turned cold and poured with rain.
Within half an hour it was sunny again so we went back out, but they wanted balls and skipping ropes. Ten minutes later - bored again and all trying to climb into the car and take turns hoovering.

Just generally bickering and winding each other up. Flo is especially good at this, and ALi is good at over-reacting. It can be a nightmare here sometimes.
Ahh - the joys of school holidays!

Notice I haven't mentioned Stan in the above. Maybe he's been OK - I haven't noticed otherwise.
He's always been much better at settling to things and is becoming a master at keeping out of arguments.

Hopefully it won't be a tense day tomorrow at the farm.
Will be good to catch up with D and K for the first time since the wedding,a nd exchange photos etc.
Ms 80th birthday "party" - just pray that it works out well and everyone being there all at once isn't too much for him.
It would be nice to have a more predictable day - preferably without rain so they can enjoy the meadows and gardens.

We did manage to spend half an hour at midday taking part in an outdoor service in the middle of Eastleigh while shopping for bedding and curtains.
They each got a palm cross and a hot cross bun.

Guests are great, but its wonderful when they've gone. Biscuit and S left us just after lunch yesterday, returning safelyhome about four.
The loft room was full of crisp packets and sandwich wrappings when we cleared up after them. Perhaps they don't get enough food.
I suspect he doesn't think so. We're not used to catering for 6'8" young men of 18!!

…we have now been given the "all clear" by the insurance assessor who visited the church this afternoon and declared it safe.
The service will now take place inthe Old Building on Sunday for the first time in nearly nine years. Fitting that MW should be churchwardent to re-open it as it was his difficult to decision to close it before.

All systems go now to clean, tidy, flowers, balloons, candles etc for the Easter Service.
I'm sure I will be able to think of some puns around the whole "resurrection" idea.
This is really exciting news.
Not only can we hold this service, but any others we like, and of course now we can plan the development and future use of the building.

It all starts here...

I think everyone in hampshire and Dorset has been waiting for the weather to turn, as it did today.
Seems they ALL went to Moors Valley Country Park to enjoy a warm sunny day.
Like us.
So of course - nobody enjoyed it at all.
Well, not strictly not at all - but I have never seen the place so packed.
It's bee nearly two years since we last went and in that time it has become much more of a corporate business.
So its a bit crap now, and not really good value for money anymore at £7 per car parking.
Elsie was too small to really go anywhere without being skwished, Alice kept complaining that other kids pushed her out the way - and I watched twice as this happened, or a swing was snatched out of her hands.
Why are other people's children so rude?
Well, some of them. And probly only sometimes, but it upset us all and spoiled the day.
Stanley spent a valiant ten minutes struggling up a huge ladder to a rope walk tunnel and then found it full of "big boys" who stamped on his fingers and kicked him (accidentally of course) so he just burst into tears at the top and was VERY difficult to get down.
He just wanted a go. bast*rds.
Think outside the box sometimes.

We had to queue for everything (even toilets??) and I don't really think the park is geared up to cope with this many visitors, despite the extended carparking (and chopping down of more trees) to get everyone in.
But then of course, once they're in, who gives a monkeys??

The strange people in the security control room next door are clapping aloud at the football on the radio?
Haven't they got CCTV to be watching...

Biscuit has been in a grump all day today but Ican't work out why. She and S didn't join in at all, even with the little ones on climbing frames, or carrying any stuff.
As I said last time, it's a disppointing experience when she comes down with him. I like him, but it's hard to get time with her.
I know this is bound to happen, but our relationship isn't exactly normal. She can spend all day every other day with him, but I was under the impression she wanted to come here to see me and the family?
Lol - I sound like someone's dad…

Ultrasound scans of 19 week pregnancies don't become any less amazing with familiarity. I may have been there, done that hundreds of times, but seeing that little heart beating away on the monitor and the tiny fingers waving is one of those emotional, deeply moving moments that stay with you for always.
This one's a girl, which left me touched with some disappointment that hasn't quite passed yet.
Such a relief to know she's fit and well, and developing on all systems go. 18.4wk head circumference and 20.2 wk thigh length. Tall then, like Flo and her Mum!
Hurrah!

This week, Connie is still just marginally ahead of Minnie. We have either Grace or Faith as a middle name. Prudence has been and gone I think, which is a shame cos it's still my favourite. Muriel's on the list, and Dot.
Does the last one sound a bit corny?

Biscuit and S arrived here safely at four after a two or three hour wander round the University where he is due to satrt in October.
That's a weird one. In my experience (both personally, and seeing others) relationships never survive when one partner goes away to Uni and the other either doesn't or goes somewhere else. A recent example is Kink and matt - he's at Eastbourne now, and a whole new world has opened up for him just as it did for me all those years ago.
Methinks Bicuit has done some work persuading S to take up the offer from Southampton because it's where she wants to go in a years time, and of course because we live her and she can visit more often. If and when they spilt up in six months time things could get disapppointing and awkward.
I do pray it doesn't turn out that way, but I am preparing myself.

We had to spend nearly all day in the house today because the weather has turned all crappy again. Ali won both Monopoly and her first ever game of Scrabble!
She is such a brilliant wordsmith. Reads her Bible several times a week and is half way through Alice in Wonderland, which is a particularly difficult text that I know many adults have trouble with. I read the Hobbit when I was ten, but I think she'll beat me to that.
We had a mad blitz on the house this mornign and cleared out three bin bags of stuffed toys and other paraphernalia. This puts the "Give Away a Thing a Day" Lenten commitment back on track and I look forward to delivering the bags on Friday. Big dusting session too, our first attempts to improve the state of the house since Trx was diagnosed with asthma in the hospital on Monday afternoon.
All the other kids are very healthy,a nd we have put that in part down to constant exposure to a fair degree of dust and the odd bout of getting dity and cold.
So many people these days live in such sterile environments (hence, they become sterile people? Discuss…) that its little wonder children develop little or no immunity to common conditions and cases of asthma are higher than they've ever been.
But these things can develop in pregnancy, especially cumulative pregnancies, and the last thing we want is for it to be passed onto baby.
I expect she's a sleep now - I do wish occasionally that she would come and tell me!

Food and other products should have to be clearly labelled as NOT organic, rather than the other way round.

It's RIDICULOUS that in order for something to legitimately be organic in a supermarket, it has to be shrink wrapped in plastic??? So it doesn't come into contact with nasty non-organic foods.
Answer - obvious I suppose. Buy from farm shops or boxes, rather than supermarkets... silly of me. Don't count that one

I've just been chattin in MSN with a couple of friends. We discussed passing new laws, if we had the power.

Here are some I would go for.
There will, no doubt, be others.
I have my "Ranting Old Git" hat on

1 - A worldwide ban on new car production for a year

2 - All mobile phones must be made to work with a universal charger, available from (somewhere like) Woollies. Having a new charger whenever yoou upgrade to a new phone is a ridiculous waste of resources.

3 - Keypads tones must default to OFF. If you want to bleep when you text, you should have to work out how to turn them on.

Next...

Two, at Lower Test this afternoon. The speciality bird of this reserve that I had totally forgotten about.
Excellent choice for a walk as I haven't visited the place for over five years and Trx has never been before. Tis a place of great beauty, essentially a reedbed and saltmarsh landscape between Southampton and Totton. Prone to ridiculous flooding at certain times of the year that makes it virtually inaccessible.
Today was dry and warm though, and the kids all loved it, especially the boardwalk that pretty much crosses the lower part of the reserve between Test Lane at Nursling and Testwood Lane in Totton.
It was especially fun to wander about some distance from them at times and be aware of the relationships developing between them. Stan walked along with LC half the time, and then with Ali when she was too slow. Those two especially seem most comfortable in this 'natural' environment and spent ages picking up stones and looking at a dead frog he found at one point. Flo, like her Mum, is most excited by "swishy water" and so liked the bridges and weirs. For me its the whole atmosphere of space and big sky.
Felt wonderful to be birding of sorts again, as it always does. We had a close Buzzard overhead that Stan managed to see thru the bins, a wicked heron wading around right by the path and then of course the Water Pipits. Not much of a view since we flushed them from quite a distance, but the call is distinctive and I recognised it straight away. Chiffchaffs, Blackcaps by the score. No cuckoo tho, which I had half expected. Things are generally late this year but there are some in the country already of course.
And no hirundos yet either which is unusual I think? We normal have Sand Martins and some House Martins over the river here by the end of March and I've had nothing yet. Mind you, Housies have been declining rapidly in this area in the ten years since we moved in.
I doubt there is any connection.

Church service this morning was unfortunately one of the worst. Again. Palm Sunday too, and I don't think a very good idea to leave it to the laeity. Especially not a husband and wife couple with young children, obviously stressed by the preparation. No one seemed to know what came next and there were long periods of embarassed silence. the 'talk' didn't hit any spot in particular but drifted aroound without conviction. Apart from the vicar here, who I could listen to all day, no-one really has any 'authority' and it doesn't feel like 'church' at all some times.
As Trx and I were chatting last night, in preparation for her starting in a new cell next week, I thin cell is a better vehicle for moving along the spiritual highway than actually going ot church.
Today's experience proved that.

Unfortunately, we did have the crappy night we were expecting yesterday. LC woke up three or four times. Once, about 2 a.m. I went in to her, in pitch darkness and found her wandering in her room, confused and lost. Poor thing. We didn't actaully see each other until I turned in the darkness and kicked her over!!!
Luckily, she was half asleep anyway and didn't shout much, so I was able to scoop her up and put her back in bed without disturbing Flo.
But then this morning she came in to our room and said "I woke up this morning and found LC on my head!"
Little one had obviously got out of bed later on and wandered about again, climbed into her sister's bed and gone back off to sleep witout either of them really waking up.
Fun and games.
They are all flat out now tho - I think I wore them all out.

It has been suggested to me recently that my blog is atypical.
Excuse me - what is a typical blog??
I read hundred. The whole point of blogging is to write whatever you like.
So mine is personal.
I don't very often venture to ranting about the state of the world we live in, discussing the news etc etc.
That's because I don't really take much notice of world events, living as I do like most of us in my own little bubble, making the best of the cards I've been dealt with and I'm generally too busy living - and getting too much pleasure out of being alive - to have much regard for world politics.

It was claimed that I am self-centred and write only about me to boast to everyone about how great my life is.
You missed the point.
I've been a diarist for twenty-odd years and have a shelf of many volumes of inane ramblings about the day to to day existence of this guy called me.

Yes, but who wnats to read that shi