by
birdsong
@ Wednesday, Mar. 29, 2006 - 11:25:54 am
My mum and I we live alone
A great apartment is our home
In Fairhome Towers
I have to keep me company
Two dogs, a cat, a parakeet
Some plants and flowers
I help my mother with the chores
I wash, she dries, I do the floors
We work together
I shop and cook and sew a bit
Though mum does too I must admit
I do it better
At night I work in a strange bar
Impersonating every star
I'm quite deceiving
The customers come in with doubt
And wonder what I'm all about
But leave believing
I do a very special show
Where I am nude from head to toe
After stripteasing
Each night the men look so surprised
I change my sex before their eyes
Tell me if you can
What makes a man a man
At 3 o'clock or so I meet
With friends to have a bite to eat
And conversation
We love to empty out our hearts
With every subject from the arts
To liberation
We love to pull apart someone
And spread some gossip just for fun
Or start a rumour
We let our hair down, so to speak
And mock ourselves with tongue-in-cheek
And inside humour
So many times we have to pay
For having fun and being gay
It's not amusing
There's always those that spoil our games
By finding fault and calling names
Always accusing
They draw attention to themselves
At the expense of someone else
It's so confusing
Yet they make fun of how I talk
And imitate the way I walk
Tell me if you can
What makes a man a man
My masquerade comes to an end
And I go home to bed again
Alone and friendless
I close my eyes, I think of him
I fantasise what might have been
My dreams are endless
We love each other but it seems
The love is only in my dreams
It's so one sided
But in this life I must confess
The search for love and hapiness
Is unrequited
I ask myself what I have got
Of what I am and what I'm not
What have I given
The answers come from those who make
The rules that some of us must break
Just to keep living
I know my life is not a crime
I'm just a victim of my time
I stand defenceless
Nobody has the right to be
The judge of what is right for me
Tell me if you can
What make a man a man
Tell me if you can
Tell me if you can
Tell me if you can
What makes a man a ma?
This lyric was meant to open the previous entry of ths title, but the whole thing disappeared into cyberspace and I forgot to write it back in.
Aznavour features on my passing Time Almond tribute compilation, and this song has very poignant and moving lyrics that have always struck a chord with me.
It is a desperately beautiful song.
OK, so it's a song about a gay man living with his mother, struggling to maintain his identity in the face of homophobia and misunderstanding.
He does "a very special kind of show, where he is
nude from head to toe, after strip teasing.
The customers customers come in with doubt
They wonder what he's all about
But leave believing
My interpretation of this defends the right of each one of us to be ourselves, not defined by the gender roles and expectations imposed upon us by the society and times in which we live.
While I accept that there are fundamental biological, psychological etc differences between men and women, this isn't really the point I was trying to make.
While we recognise and largely accept these differences, it seems less comfortable for us to accept differences BETWEEN men and BETWEEN women.
In Decline and Fall, Evelyn Waugh makes a good case for the fact that, rather than define people as 'male' or 'female' we could define people as 'dynamic' or 'static' - personalities which traverse the gender into which we are born.
What suits me and the way I live isn't comfortable for other people, other men, in the same way that i would find it uncomfortable to live in the way they do.
The persecution and victimisation felt by Aznavour in his lyric is painfully felt and beautifully sung. But he is defiant, and determined to maintain his identity (and sexuality) in the face of ridicule and misunderstanding.
I am not a victim of either ridicule or misunderstanding, or homphobia or racism. i dont think.
Perhaps that makes me lucky.
What I am is me, a man, living a lifestyle in which I am comfortable but that I recognise would not suit everyone. I don't seek to impose my ways, attitudes and values on others and never have. I am not a Flag-Waving Christian or a Placard-Waving Vegetarian, but I hold these values in the highest regard and celebrate the changes,s trengths and sense of balance that these choices have brought to my life.
I have six beautiful children, considerably more than is the accepted 'norm' and a seventh on the way, for which i thank God and praise Him for his trust, insight and kindness.
But that doesn't mean this is a choice i would advocate for others.
So what makes a man a man?
It's the eternal, unanswerable question.
There is nothing specific that makes a man a man. there is as much variety between and among men as there is between and among women. An considerable overlap. Some men are more female than some women (and I probably fall into this area) inthe same way some women display more masculinity than some men. I feel for people who are uncomfortable in the gender body they were born into, because fromt he outside looking in, that is what defines us a a "man' or a "woman".
Let us not judge, lest we be judged.
This is a beautiful world in which we all have to live
There is room for everyone
Find your way and live it
It need not be "at the expense of someone else"
The accusers are often those with emptiness inside
Running and hiding from themselves
Never to arrive
I stand defenceless
Nobody has the right to be
The judge of what is right me
Tell me if you can
What makes a man a man?
